‘Creature Features’ still kicking at 50

And that means devotees of the absurd can be treated to a particular program that this month observes the 50th anniversary of its debut in 1971.

That would be “Creature Features,” originally hosted on Saturday nights by Bob Wilkins on KTVU-Channel 2 and later by Pacifica’s own John Stanley. Over the last several years, the show’s newest iteration can be seen Saturdays at 9 p.m. on KOFY-Channel 20.

This latest version of “Creature Features” is hosted by actor/producer/entrepreneur Jeff Bodean in the gothic guise of Vincent Van Dahl. He is assisted by a pair of odd characters, actors Raven Green (Mr. Livingston) and Ali Noel (Tangella).

The format is familiar for those with long memories. A horror/sci-fi movie is shown, a guest is interviewed and letters to the cast are read. The whole shebang is created in a North Bay studio; the show uses a postal box number in Bodega Bay for those wishing to write in. There is also a presence on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

The quality of the “Creature Feature” films is less than Academy Award-worthy. Bodean regularly confesses that budget issues prevent him from paying for better cinematic stuff. But, in the end, that’s all part of the show’s appeal.

Last weekend’s presentation during a “Creature Feature” celebration of its birth a half-century ago (Stanley was brought back as a guest, appropriately enough) was “The Horror of Party Beach,” the very first film shown by Wilkins back during the Nixon administration.

Critics have branded it as one of the worst movies of all time. But that’s all in the view of the beholder. Things could be worse, a lot worse. And they have been. The show’s films typically are utterly forgettable, made-for-TV fare that has never seen the inside of a legitimate theater, and for good reason.

Here are just a few of the celluloid growlers tossed out for public consumption by Bodean and his cohorts over the last several weeks: “Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women,” “The Atomic Brain,” “Strangler of the Swamp” and, last but certainly not least, “Mars Needs Women.”

That last entry in this cavalcade of visual swill bears a bit more mention. The title of this 1968 dog’s breakfast actually says it all. Mars, apparently, has run out of females. The planet’s males are forced to visit Earth to kidnap women to keep the race perking along.

Interplanetary genetic/DNA issues, seemingly, are not a major breeding problem in this case. The script is bad, the acting is horrendous, the cinematography is beyond poor and the costumes and special effects are godawful.

One bright spot, however, is an actress named Bubbles Cash. She plays the part of a Texas exotic dancer who becomes a target of a Martian kidnap team. If anything, Bubbles, as an enticing, semi-clothed victim, underplays her rather naughty role. This film, with a bare-bones budget listed at $25,000, may have been a bright spot in her very brief acting career. At the very least, her legacy as a stripper/alien abductee must be seen as unique in this movie genre.

Bubbles, according to Texas historians, branched out from stripping and acting. Among other things, she ran for governor of the state on two occasions. She lost both times.

Again, it should be noted that this newest version of “Creature Features” does not pretend to present quality movies. Not even close.

But it’s all harmless, campy fun and it’s more than welcome during a nearly yearlong period of off-and-on pandemic quarantine/lockdown restrictions.

The show also is available via the internet platforms of Roku, Apple TV and Fire TV.

John Horgan, who, as a callow youth growing up in San Mateo, spent too many hours watching 1950s horror/sci fi films, can be contacted by email at johnhorganmedia@gmail.com.