The critical role of social-emotional education for middle school students

I’ve been encouraged by the emphasis some of our local middle schools are placing on social emotional learning. These educators recognize the need to develop not just bright minds but grounded, emotionally perceptive young men and women. Their approach to SEL is integrated into all aspects of students’ learning experience — and the impact is profound.

One recent project stands out as powerful example of the value of social emotional learning for young teens. A group of students from my son’s middle school watched “The Mask You Live In,” a compelling documentary that explores a constricted ideal of masculinity prevalent in American society, where “strength” is equated with concealing emotions and avoiding vulnerability. 

In classroom discussions and reflective writing, students challenged outdated stereotypes: the idea that men should be stoic, unfeeling or always tough. They began to consider traits like kindness, supportiveness and thoughtfulness as signs of strength. They also reflected that a “good man” is someone who makes others feel safe and valued, rather than one who tries to conceal, control or dominate. 

When students have the opportunity to participate in community circles, classroom conversations and projects such as the one around “The Mask You Live In,” they develop the capacity to self-reflect, recognize their biases and grow as leaders. They learn to have honest conversations and show up with integrity, inspiring others to do the same. 

This intentional focus on social-emotional learning doesn’t dilute academic challenge or rigor. It allows for the growth of human skills that are essential for thriving in today’s world. When students feel understood and encouraged to be authentic, they are more likely to take intellectual risks and persevere through challenges. This is the kind of education that helps students become secure, conscientious and capable young men and women.

We can learn from schools that invest in the whole child, preparing them not just to succeed but to be confident in who they are and ready to contribute to their communities with integrity, courage and character. If we choose to integrate these key human skills into middle school education, our kids — and our communities — will be better for it.

Kristen Carey is a Bay Area based psychologist and parent. Her oldest son attends Field Middle School in San Mateo.