Resolutions

The point of resolutions is a reflection of our need to improve. For many, the new year is a point of coming back to reality, or to start thinking of ourselves again, after spending time with family and friends, enjoying life in various ways that perhaps can’t be sustained throughout the year. Sometimes it’s those ways, overeating or overdrinking or overwhatevering, is what we seek to shed as the calendar turns. It is in our nature to look toward certain times or traditions to make an improvement, retool, recalibrate or just make a fresh start. If we feel we overdid it, the new year means we can begin again. It gives us hope.

But as the great Francis Bacon said, “Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.” Start with hope but continue and end with action.

Yet perhaps the best resolution is to simply act with good intention.

It may seem small, and perhaps trifling, but it can lead everywhere good, believe me. Too often, conversations can become arduous because they are perceived to be an argument that must be won, and a point of view must be adhered to and spread. If the intention is to win, then it is not good. A good intention is to be genuine and real, with an open heart and an open mind. When interacting, you can intend to be open to others and their ideas. That’s good.

I don’t mean to say winning is not good, it is. You can be great, and make a difference. Yet is the appreciation of the action’s experience that counts and the feeling of expanding and stretching and pushing is the actual win. To achieve victory can be a positive result, but if the experience of the conversation or the contest is appreciated, there is room for grace. No matter who “wins,” everyone who participated has gotten better. If we think of moving forward, there is never any real victory, just progress. Sometimes moving others forward is more meaningful than simply moving yourself to victory. We can all move forward together as long as we act with good intention.

Consider the circumstances of others. There is this idea that we truly don’t know anything about anyone, what kind of day they are having and what complexities are tangling the lives of others. It’s too easy to break people down into stereotypes or caricatures rather than intricate beings just like you. Other people aren’t just others, they are people with the same wants as you — respect, comfort and care.

Assume good intent. Regardless of our differences, most people are inherently good to a point but will break down to self interest if conflict arises. That’s just a fact. But if the focus is on the intent, and we assume most people are good and have a good intent, we can work with that to find a way forward.

That’s a lot of words to say the idea, “be nice,” but we could all use the reminder that our intentions mean a lot but can shift if there is conflict. As part of our ceremony of changing the calendar, we decide to be better and we start out the year relaxed and refreshed.

Yet circumstances change based on how the days, weeks and months unfold. And to be honest, I see a lot of storms on the horizon this year. There is plenty to bring worry if you pay attention.

But if you yourself act with good intent, assume good intent and consider the circumstances of others, you might find that you have a larger well of patience and good will than you knew. And that reserve can bring you happiness, which you could use for others who may be needing it.

I know these aren’t as flashy as losing weight, being in contact with family or saving money, but being present for and open to people and their points of views, actions, beliefs and circumstances may actually make a difference in your own life and those around you.