What do our slogans say?

This is a pretty good slogan.

The other day, I was driving north on Interstate 280 and saw a sign at Daly City that declared it is the “Gateway to the Peninsula.”

Since I was heading north, I thought the sign should have read “Gateway to San Francisco.”

Anyway, this got me going on municipal slogans.

This is to say I combed through city websites and a couple of online searches, combed being defined as requiring as little of me as possible.

Of the 20 cities in San Mateo County, more than half have a slogan or a motto. These tell us something about these cities, or, at least, tells us what they would like to tell us.

Such as being a gateway to the Peninsula, when it really is not.

South San Francisco is “The Industrial City,” of course. This hearkens back to the days when there were cement plants and meat-packing plants there, and a hunger to show civic pep. The sign is now on the National Register of Historic Places, so how about Sign Hill City?

On a par, perhaps, is Redwood City’s “Climate Best By Government Test,” which is not on a hill but is on a couple of archways. This was thought to be the result of an 1800s German-government search for the best zeppelin site in the world. But KQED has alleged that it was coined by a guy named Wilbur Doxsee, who entered a local contest. He said he got a $10 prize for the slogan.

Either way, the climate might not be that much better in Redwood City than it is in any of its neighboring towns.

Redwood City’s slogan translated into Latin is, “Caelum optimarium probatione publica.” This may be no more valid, but it sounds classier.

Millbrae’s slogan is “City in the Sun,” which is a snarky, but no-less-accurate swipe at northern neighbor San Bruno, where the wind and fog have done wonders for the windbreaker industry.

San Bruno is “City With A Heart,” but this is not an official designation and appears to be a reference to a heart-shaped neighborhood east of El Camino and south of San Bruno Avenue. There was a time, when I was a mere youth, when the city called itself “The Airport City,” because, you know, the airport. I always thought it should be “The Airport Noise City.”

Pacifica calls itself “Scenic Pacifica.” It is on a sign on the way into the city, but you usually cannot see it because of the fog. The official seal of Pacifica includes the motto: “Progress in Wisdom.” This borders on haiku. It just as easily could be: “Wisdom in Progress.” Kind of an anagram slogan.

Burlingame says it is the “City of Trees,” except not so much lately. Belmont is trying to sell us on two: “City of Homes,” and “The Hub of the Peninsula.” I cannot decide if it is better to be a gateway or a hub.

San Carlos calls itself the “City of Good Living,” and nobody has any idea what it means. It also is no guarantee. You can move to San Carlos, but you are pretty much stuck with the life you have.

A disappointing number of cities have no slogan. We are happy to step into the breach.

Somewhere on San Mateo’s website is a reference to “Safety, Fairness and Respect for All.” They should adopt “Truth, Justice and the American Way.” They could put a picture of Superman on all their official documents.

Hillsborough could mirror Belmont and call itself “City of Really Big Homes.” Or: “We Build Winding Streets So You Can Never Find Your Way Out.”

Menlo Park could be: “Thomas Edison Never Lived Here.” You have to look that one up yourself.

Woodside: “Curb Your Horse.” Atherton: “Stay Out.” Or, “Gateway To Palo Alto.”

Portola Valley’s town website highlights the proverb, “In the multitude of counselors there is accomplishment.” Anyone who has been around a multitude of counselors knows it rarely leads to accomplishment.

Then there is Half Moon Bay, which offers: “Vivir, Trabajar, Jugar.” This translates “To Live, To Work, To Play.”

This pretty much covers the full extent of human behavior. It is utterly devoid of meaning.

It is the perfect slogan.