Dieting as an excuse to eat guilt-free steak

Yes, the diet guru who pushed steak and butter as every dieter's dream road to svelteness might not have been the best example of his own mantra. Not only might Atkins have been ill when he died after falling and hitting his head, this revelation throws into question the validity of his science. Let the debate and lawsuits begin.

The Atkins Diet has become so popular that even the Mad Cow scare couldn't squash it. Instead, now the large 'A' has become ubiquitous, adorning everything from TGIFridays menus to Burger King. Even those that don't bear the scarlet letter are getting into the fold - low carb beer is now joined with billboards proclaiming that vodka has zero calories.

A filet mignon and a tumbler of Russia's finest - how could anybody not love this fad? It certainly beats low-fat cookies and fruit juice as a snacking staple.

However, for those of us who embrace both red meat and pasta (does that make me super-motivated, to appear to be on two distinct diets at once?), the current no carb trend can be a little cagey. One might be able to chow down a streak with abandon but turn down a piece of bread or a bowl of rice with your chicken teriyaki and the knowing looks start.

"Yes, no need to explain. Atkins," the waiter says, snatching the bread basket away with sympathy when I tell him I don't want it.

This means one of two things: so many people are pushing it away that servers can easily chalk it up to the diet or, two, I just look like I need to shed a few pounds. My ego will make me choose the former.

On the flip side, asking for toast with your sausage and eggs elicit narrow-eyed looks from patrons at other tables who just know that I'm asking for certain death with my complex carbohydrates. And I add sugar-laden jelly on top? Oh yes, I better make out my will before I order.

At least McDonald's is doing all of us a favor. Last week the company announced that they are eliminating their super-sized portions and planning to promote "healthier" options like fruit and yogurt. A double Quarter Pounder with cheese, a large fry, a drink and yogurt? Sounds scrumptious. If only they offered Brussels sprouts, too. Thank goodness they are getting rid of the extra-large portions or I'd be pushing myself.

But really, under the Atkins premise, shouldn't they just super-size the beef while downsizing the bun? Or, even better, modernize the USA for Africa program by sending the buns to people in countries where an actual lack of food - rather than the type of food - is the problem. Something tells me that in countries that are no stranger to starvation and malnutrition the only glances given to a person with a baked potato are looks of envy.

The bottom line then is not so much how what we eat will affect our, um, bottom but that we actually have the luxury to worry about it. Instead of having angst over what we put in our mouths we should be celebrating the fact that we have anything at all on the end of our forks. We should raise a toast - with a fully carb-loaded beer, of course - that we live in a country where food is plentiful, In-and-Out Burgers dot every corner it seems, and every month or so a different diet fad justifies at least one vice.

That's what it is after all - justification to eat an extra steak, to slather butter on pork rinds and to drink to excess (as long as it is non-carb vodka, naturally). The Atkins diet, low fat diets and every cabbage soup diet in between are just passes to avoid eating balanced meals and taking everything in moderation.

Don't get me wrong; I'm right there with everybody else who brushes off a workout and a healthy meal while smugly downing veal medallions with a side of bacon. That is, of course, until the next health fad comes along.

Michelle Durand's column "Off the Beat" runs every Monday and Thursday. She can be reached by e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 104. What do you think of this column? Send a letter to the editor: letters@smdailyjournal.com.