Breaking through emotional barriers

"Coming clean to myself; I felt like I realized who I am," she said.

Realizing it's OK to be vulnerable, to show sadness and weakness, allowed McHugh to become successful. Reaching that point came with struggles that continued long after she admitted her issues.

Now she is gearing up for life after graduation -- an accomplishment she often questioned reaching.

"Lindsay was adept at smiling convincingly and telling concerned adults what they wanted to hear, rather than the scary truth about her emotional fragility. She entered Notre Dame, which her parents had selected as being a deeply caring and nurturing environment, without any real conviction that her life was worth the effort of living," said Winifred Montgomery, who was McHugh's counselor sophomore and junior years.

Montgomery was scared during one particularly bad semester that her phone ringing would bring news that McHugh had hurt or even killed herself.

"In the years, months, days, minutes since then, Lindsay has consciously traveled the agonizingly uphill path toward health. This process has been fraught with traps, disappointments, trauma and terror, and yet, step by step, Lindsay has moved toward these obstacles, moved through them, and moved forward. She has come to understand that nothing can be taken for granted, least of all love, and that her destiny is hers to determine," Montgomery said.

McHugh, the oldest of three children, grew up in Woodside. She attended Woodside Elementary School then started at Sacred Heart Preparatory in Atherton. She thought the school was what she wanted. Unfortunately, stress at school coupled with her parents' split, which meant moving, proved too much for McHugh. She didn't let anyone see her stress.

Her painted-on smile hid pain, confusion, frustration and disappointment in so many aspects of her life. Being put in the hospital was a wake-up call for McHugh. After being released, she enrolled in out of state therapeutic programs, where she stayed for over a year. She has spent time at Rogers Memorial Hospital Child and Adolescent Center in Wisconsin, Alpine Academy in Utah and the Center for Change, also in Utah.

McHugh returned to California at 16 in the late summer. It was too late to apply to most private schools. She also was far behind in her credits for school. On a fluke, McHugh was driving with her mom by Notre Dame and they decided to drive in. After being given an impromptu tour, McHugh was accepted on the spot and enrolled as a junior. Transitioning back to academia wasn't completely smooth. She went back to Utah and enrolled in a therapeutic school for the second semester of junior year. That's when things completely turned around.

Montgomery noticed the change.

"She has become ... the kind of woman she could never imagine, back in her most vulnerable days; an inspiration to the people around her, a rock of strength and love, a woman of courage and vision. Her uphill climb is not and may never be over, but in the meantime, she lives. She claims every minute of her life, and lives it with passion, conviction, honesty and trust in her own ability to persevere," Montgomery said.

Throughout her childhood, McHugh spent numerous years in sports like gymnastics, cross country and soccer. Coming clean to herself meant admitting those competitive environments may not be the best for her. Instead, she began looking for leadership opportunities like working with children in gymnastics courses or with children who have disabilities. McHugh introduced a leadership program to Notre Dame and led a retreat for fellow students.

Leading a retreat meant opening up to hear classmates. She didn't hold back. Instead, McHugh got closer to the girls around her and found true friends, as well as confidence in herself.

McHugh sees graduation as a miracle. She didn't have confidence that it would be enough to get into college.

"My parents had more faith in me," she said.

With the help of an outside counselor, McHugh put together a transcript of her various schools along with an explanation for the changes. Her first acceptance letter seemed like a mistake.

McHugh decided to attend Willamette University in Salem, Ore.

She plans to study psychology feeling that she could help others given her experience.

"I realized everyone's fighting some kind of battle. I need to not judge others. And, I need to cherish my life, right now. It's precious," she said.

Great Grads is in its sixth year profiling one graduating senior from each of our local schools. Schools have the option to participate. Those that choose to participate are asked to nominate one student who deserves recognition.

Heather Murtagh can be reached by email: heather@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 105.