Such a nice deal back in Ike’s era

The weathered document in question was a modest, professionally-created brochure promoting the sale of the Uplands mansion and 5 choice acres of land in leafy Hillsborough. The asking price was a tidy $97,500.

The year was not entirely clear, but it has been estimated to be 1954-55. During that same time period, the Uplands property was sold for that sum; it was then acquired by the trustees of what would become Crystal Springs Uplands School (the total acreage in the deal was doubled at that point).

In a highly desirable area where wild real estate inflation is a given, one can only imagine what those original 5 (now 10) acres are worth today.

JUST GIVE ’EM AN ANESTHETIC: Got a hankering for the coastside’s delectable Dungeness crab during the holiday season? We may be in trouble.

Diligent researchers in the U.K. have somehow determined that crustaceans have feelings too. Apparently, they can experience actual pain.

You know what that means — PETA and its determined allies will soon be demanding an end to crab season altogether, not to mention efforts to harvest shrimp, octopus and other selected supposedly sentient creatures from the briny deep.

Crab fishing is already an endangered enterprise along the coast but the Brits’ work could well make it even more iffy. And let’s not even mention boiling crab pots and the Torquemada types who man them.

SUCH A DEAL AT STONE CELLAR: Back to inflation for a moment, the perplexing phenomenon isn’t new. It’s part of economic history down through the ages.

We have to adjust to it and pray for a better day with the needed assistance of the experts in charge. Here’s another tiny, local example: Sixty-five years ago, the Stone Cellar restaurant in Menlo Park provided a complete upscale meal of soup, salad, abalone steak, dessert and coffee for the grand total of two bucks.

A prime rib dinner with the same attractive extras cost the princely sum of $2.60. A child’s plate set you back $1.25.

A PROPER TIME TO SKEDADDLE: For someone who has spent most of his coddled existence nestled in the quiet bosom of the gentle suburbs, the difference between the sounds of firecrackers and gunshots has been an ongoing puzzle.

We don’t hear much of the latter. So which is which? We got a lesson in that department last Friday night in Campbell during a prep football game. The pop-pop-pop emanating from the stadium parking lot seemed, at first, to be relatively benign. Then reality set in.

Those weren’t firecrackers, they were gunshots. So much for suburban calm. We at least learned when to skedaddle. Can’t wait for the Fourth of July.

STAGGER LEE IS BACK IN BRISBANE: Love the name of that new leather goods/artisan products store on Visitacion Avenue in Brisbane: “Stagger Lee Goods.” Ah, yes. Memories of that 1959 Number One pop hit, “Stagger Lee,” by the late, great Lloyd Price. He was one of the first notable Black crossover singers/writers who brought a new, vivid style to what became the rock ’n’ roll scene.

EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT: No one does publicity like relentlessly focused David Canepa of the San Mateo County Board of Supervisors. If the North County pol blinks or burps, somehow, it’s newsworthy. Last week, stretching even those limits, he saw fit to produce an actual press release trumpeting the fact that he had gotten an anti-COVID booster shot. Stop the presses.

A BRIEF THANK-YOU: Finally, we’d like to thank those readers (on both sides of the discussion) who responded either in print or electronically to a recent piece in this space on the subject of the San Mateo County sheriff’s decision not to cooperate with federal immigration officials seeking to detain, and perhaps deport, those convicted of serious crimes who are also here illegally without valid documentation.

Contact John Horgan by email at johnhorganmedia@gmail.com.