‘Tis the season!

Maybe you are one who enjoys all of the festivities because they distract you from mundane cares and problems. Maybe you look forward to the colorful lights and decorations, the gift exchanges and the family get-togethers. But maybe, with all of the alarming and depressing world, national and local events that have occurred during the year, you aren’t in the mood. Besides, what are you going to get all of those people on the list who have everything already?

Whatever our orientation to the holidays, there are at least three ways that we can improve them greatly. First, we can emphasize gratitude (Thanksgiving)! In spite of the negative events that plague the world, nation and community that cause us to be depressed and/or cynical, we can relieve at least some of it by regularly counting our blessings and feeling and expressing gratitude for them. We can be grateful for something as important as family and friends or as small as that beautiful rose in the garden. Mindfully appreciating such blessings regularly helps us become more optimistic, more content and happier in general because we are emphasizing what we have instead of what we don’t have.

If we give some thought to the devastation of the many wildfires in California and the horrible hurricanes that have destroyed much of the South and realize how much these people have lost, we should feel very lucky and grateful. Maybe it would be a good idea that at a family gathering we ask each person to name two things that they are thankful for that have nothing to do with possessions. This can be especially good for the many children in our culture who are constantly bombarded with messages that they are entitled to whatever they desire. We all need to be reminded regularly that truly successful people are those with the peace of mind that comes with being honest, responsible, decent, kind and content with what they have.

Next, simplify. Many of us could live the good life with much less than we have. In a country that has 5 percent of the world’s population, and yet uses 25 percent of the world’s resources, you’d think we’d be ashamed of our materialism — much of which has occurred because of our assumption that money can buy happiness or that our status in life depends upon our assets. One good way to start is by tossing out or cutting down on the gift list and donating some or all of the money to deserving and reliable charities like Second Harvest Food Bank, The Salvation Army, St. Anthony’s Foundation or some other good cause that helps those in need. We can explain to the children how some children have very little (less than Santa can provide) and show them how to donate to a charity that helps those who are in need.

Third: We can alleviate some of the stress that often comes with preparation for the holidays by slowing down and enjoying some healthy pleasures. A walk in a beautiful area can get us away from all the hype. So can activities like enjoying playing with a small child, reading an interesting book, listening to beautiful music, playing a game with someone who enjoys it as much as you do. Even better, we can do something that would make life a bit easier for someone else.

If we make it a point to get into a more authentic spirit of Thanksgiving and the holidays that follow, we may begin 2019 in a better state of mind than we might expect. It’s often a matter of the choices we make. As David G, Myers wrote in “The American Paradox”: “Happiness is less a matter of what we want and more a matter of being satisfied with what we have.” 

Since 1984, Dorothy Dimitre has written more than 950 columns for various local newspapers. Her email address is gramsd@aceweb.com.