Setting a high speed record to Safeway

Suburbia’s car culture highlights that phenomenon. Fast cars have been the rage for decades. A new one is heading for showrooms in the very near future.

The Maserati MC20, which can reach speeds of 200 miles per hour in seemingly effortless fashion, is going to be able to hit 60 MPH in 2.9 seconds, according to the Italian firm. Its 630 horsepower V6 engine is described as a game-changer.

But such stupendous performance does beg the question: What’s the rationale for ownership if you spend most of your time driving to tend to mundane tasks like grocery shopping, visits to the post office and checking out that new restaurant in the town next door?

In other words, is such a marvelous vehicle really just wretched internal combustion excess (with a starting price tag north of $210,000, not including taxes, fees, insurance, extras)? That’s probably not the point. If you fret at all about such issues, you may not be the sort of customer Maserati is targeting anyway.

The MC20, after all, is not the kind of chariot designed for that weekly jaunt to Safeway. A 3-mile trek to the produce aisle at top speed would take under two minutes if the car’s specifications (and my own woeful math) are accurate.

That’s not going to be possible, or legal, on El Camino Real or Highway 101. So not to worry.

It’s likely the only time you will be able to goose the accelerator and eight-speed transmission to full-throated throttle is on a race track.

That means this sleek beast will be primarily for show — looking daring and dazzling in your suburban driveway. Maybe that’s enough.

AGAIN, MEN ARE THE PROBLEM: Leave it to the diligent ivory tower researchers. A recent university study concluded that men are the cause of more climate warming than women.

The guys, said the damning report (its validity remains to be thoroughly vetted, however), produce more egregious greenhouse gases than gals. Should that be a surprise? One does wonder.

After all, you would have to believe that, by and large, chest-thumping males would be more apt to buy something like that new, low-mileage Maserati racer noted above, if for no other reason than to impress the ladies.

Anecdotal evidence also suggests that men tend to favor the outdoor barbecue experience, another sign of potential problems for the stressed atmosphere.

And then there’s the consumption of chili, jalapeño peppers, hotdogs and fiery hot chicken wings. OK, you got us. Go ahead, blame us. Our track record speaks for itself. Burp.        

A GREASY SPOON IT ISN’T: A recent online piece regarding beefy Serra High School football players meeting with NFL lineman David Bakhtiari at Christie’s restaurant in downtown Burlingame referred to the popular eatery as “a greasy spoon.”

That description did a disservice to the establishment’s substantial board of fare.

The popular diner on California Drive features more than its share of specialty items that most definitely do not rely on lard, fat or any other greasy ingredient (maybe a bit of bacon) to any pronounced degree.

WHAT ABOUT PG&E POWER LINES?:This past Sunday afternoon, the weather was perfect for flying a kite.

Coyote Point can be a favorite spot for such pleasant activity. And there was more than one of the devices in evidence out there by San Francisco Bay.

But one cautionary thought came to mind: What about the vulnerable, nearby PG&E power lines that march right across a portion of the Coyote Point property?

The last thing we need is a blackout caused by an innocent, errant kite.

WHACK MY HEAP, I NEED THE CASH: This terse message on a license plate frame on a car parked in Millbrae said it all: “Please hit me. I have student loans.” In other words, “Improve my financial condition by hammering my vehicle.” Just leave the insurance information. 

Note to readers: This column has been updated to reflect the accurate price of a Maserati MC20 at more than $210,000. 

You can get in touch with John Horgan by email at johnhorganmedia@gmail.com.