A modest proposal

With the vernal equinox arriving next week, this is the time to be thinking of what to plant next. We don’t have to worry about cracking the hard ground, just what will do best in lengthening days. But we are at a crossroads. Last year, the garden was a piecemeal project thrown into the center of the once-languid patch of land that had a previous incarnation before we bought the house as a, I kid you not, a junkyard. So anything was progress.

However, and this is a big however, now that we are a year into home ownership, there should be more thought put into it. I have prepped the two garden boxes with compost (man, that stinks) and they are ready and willing for the next leafy residents. But charged with the fantasies conjured by DIY network, we envisioned a 30-foot long, 2-foot deep planter box along our fence and the neighbor’s garage with seating areas so we could break from our gardening duties and take in the splendor of our effort. This might be a first step in what could be a designer-ish backyard that could be the envy of others — because let me tell you, that is currently not the case (Where is Yard Crashers when you need it?).

But here’s where it gets complicated. There is measuring and thought and planning that must be done first. Do we want redwood? Or cedar? (we hear it naturally repels insects — maybe even those devil beetles that loved the strawberries so). Do we want to construct a fence to attach the planter to? Or have a trellis? How about a pagoda? And making these decisions and then having them come to fruition (get it?) requires a plan and a vision.

The solution, of course, is easy. I need an environmental impact report, or at the very least, a site plan and architectural review. It seems to work so well with city development plans. The developer (me) shall propose a 30-foot planter that will provide a benefit to nearby residents (me again). It will get wrapped up in disputes (what type of wood and what configuration) so there is a threat of missing the growing season. As a compromise, the developer (me) will agree to plant in the current planter boxes to provide companionship to the current vegetative residents (arugula) while studying the proposal for another year or so. The benefits are clear — garden-fresh produce, less expense and more time in-house.

Now let’s see if I can get the proposal past the house’s leadership (my wife). Perhaps I need to hire a consultant or first poll the arugula.

Jon Mays is the editor in chief of the Daily Journal. He can be reached at jon@smdailyjournal.com.