Community honors Ryan

In death, a legacy was born. Ryan Phua was only 2 years old when he died in his sleep from Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC) on July 8, 2003. But from tragic circumstances came triumph. Ryan's parents, John and Michele, made sure of that. On Sunday, the seventh annual Ryan Phua Memorial Kids' Ride once again takes center stage as part of the 24th Burlingame Criterium in downtown Burlingame. "It's become a great community event that people look forward to," said John Phua, a long-time San Mateo resident. "It's such a positive experience for the kids and their families and it has so much meaning for everyone involved." Does it ever. Ryan's Ride is the largest kids' ride in the United States, attracting 500-plus children to the event each year. Sunday's ride gets underway at 10:20 a.m. and lasts for an hour, with kids divided into three age categories: 4 and under, 5-8 and 9-12. Shortly after Ryan's death, the Ryan Phua Memorial Fund was set up in conjunction with the Lance Armstrong foundation to fund cancer-related programs in the Bay Area. To date, $325,000 has been raised through the fund to provide support to cancer survivors and local elementary school programs. The Phuas' goal is to raise a million dollars, and Ryan's Ride figures prominently in the fund-raising efforts. Hundreds of kids show up for the event each year, many of whom raise pledges. While Ryan's Ride isn't an official race per se -- after all, everyone's a winner -- a grand prize will be rewarded to the kid who generates the most pledges in each age category. Everyone else receives a medal, ice cream and goody bag. "What more could a kid ask for?" Phua said. One kid who has taken part in all six of Ryan's Ride is his twin brother, Matthew. At 9 years old, Matthew already has his own miniature road bike and has a keen understanding on what Ryan's Ride means. "We look at Matthew and see where he's at and what he remembers and we know the event means a lot to him on such a personal level," John said. "He knows events like this can help others and it's been such a journey. When Matthew first did this, he was on a little tricycle and going one block (of the course). This will be his first time doing the ride in the big boy category (9-12 age group) and doing two laps, and he'll be doing it with a lot of friends he met from this event." Ryan's Ride is a celebration of a life cut far too short. There is still no answer as to what causes SUDC, which is the sudden and unexpected death of a child over the age of 12 months. Making Ryan's death all the more of an emotional roller coaster for John and Michele was the fact that John had been cancer-free for a couple of years, having been diagnosed with testicular cancer in 1997. So it's no wonder the Phuas considered their twins "miracle babies." But approximately 19 months later, John and Michele suffered the most devastating of losses. "Losing a child is the worst loss," the Phuas state on their website, ryansride.org. "When a child dies so suddenly with an undetermined cause, the parents start a journey of emotional isolation since many of their friends and families will acknowledge the loss to be unimaginable. How can we share our grief when those around us cannot relate or when we don't even know where this journey will take us? "During those early years of grief, we experienced a mixture of shock, anger, pain, sadness and the range of emotions is never ending. We incorporate that loss in our everyday life. We have a choice whether to self destruct, or to learn with grace and courage. We have chosen the latter, and we try our best to live that way daily. Some may see our faces and think we have returned to normal, but they simply cannot see that our hearts are forever wounded." But the Phuas -- both are 45 and celebrated their 18th anniversary in May -- made the best out of a tragic situation. Less than a year after Ryan's death, the first-ever Ryan's Ride took place in the '04 Criterium. John, who is a long-time member of the Peninsula Velo Cycling Club, took the twins to the '03 race. John vividly remembers how enthralled Ryan was as the racers whizzed by with breath-taking speed. "When he was watching, Ryan always said, 'More bikes, more bikes,'" John said. "I remember that to this day. Ryan was a gift who we'll never forget. The great thing now is we're able to celebrate his life and it's a very powerful thing." Ryan died two weeks after the '03 race. John was in mourning but wanted to find a way to honor Ryan. He went to the now deceased Bob Wong, who at the time was a member of Peninsula Velo. With the help of Wong and Peninsula Velo athletic director Bill Fallis, Ryan's Ride has become a staple of the Criterium. The event has inspired countless of people to help a great cause and Ryan has become a symbol of hope, something that is close to John Phua's heart. As a cancer survivor, John knows how important a role hope plays in times of despair. He continues to share his story with other cancer survivors while bringing awareness to the disease. "You have to have hope no matter what the circumstances may be," he said. "Whether it's one percent, 10 percent or however percent (the doctor gives you in beating cancer), every bit of hope can help you get to the next day." Ryan's Ride is always a day of both excitement and reflection for the Phuas. They experience every gamut of the emotional spectrum, from melancholy to unmitigated joy. Every time John watches Matthew ride in the event, he has a feeling Ryan is watching, too, and loving every second of it. "Ryan gets to see more bikes," John Phua said. "I'm sure he's smiling at all the bikes." Emanuel Lee can be reached: emanuel@smdailyjournal.com and (650) 344 5200, ext. 109.