Pity the fool

But that’s not to say the day is devoid of fools — not only is the term in the day’s name, the general idea of the day is fooling somebody else with a practical joke or leading them to believe something false.

Yet, looking at the world lately, one would be hard-pressed not to believe any day of the year could easily be so labeled. Are we really to believe the following are not pranks on the unsuspecting public?

Police picking up a man on multiple warrants allegedly found a meth lab. Boring enough until you realize why he might have trouble pleading not guilty: His MySpace name is "Method Man” and he lists his occupation as meth cooker.

Method man aside, crime is usually the best arena for the foolish.

Case in point, Connecticut police had ample warning of a bank robbery  because the two suspects called the bank ahead of time and told an employee to get a bag of money ready. When Albert Bailey, 27, and his teenage accomplice arrived for pickup, police met them in the parking lot.

A police sergeant aptly described them as "not too bright.”

But just to clear up any notion that only criminals stray from the Mensa crowd, consider some of these others.

Tiger Woods, Jesse James, the dozens of alleged mistresses between — fools, all of them. Politicians? Not always far behind.

Everybody got a good chuckle, or at least a pitiful shake of the head, at San Bernadino state senator Roy Ashburn whose closeted homosexuality was uncovered after a DUI stop. Seems the good leader was leaving a Sacramento gay bar that had been hosting the Miss Gay Latina Sacramento competition. No word who he voted for in the pageant but the question now is if his typically conservative constituents will continue voting for him.

His previous stance on gay rights is well documented. His stance now? Probably pretty wide.

Speaking of Sacramento, a former correctional officer in that fair city, nearly collected $2.5 million from a worker’s compensation claim because he said a former inmate shot him outside a San Francisco restaurant, leaving him paralyzed for life.

The only problem? The man was actually shot at a swingers club by a man upset that his condom broke while having sex with his wife.

There’s no question who was packing the real heat that night, but really? He thought he could get that claim by officials and taxpayers?

Had he succeeded, the question would have been who the real fools were.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom threw his hat in the ring for lieutenant governor — yep, that same position he knocked while running for governor. Guess second banana doesn’t look so bad anymore.

Santa Clara County Supervisor Ken Yeager wants to prohibit Happy Meals from including toys because he believes they encourage children to eat non-healthy fare and thereby join the legions of the obese. C’mon. The toy is probably the least unhealthy item in the box.

And in the foolish, but lamentable, category there is Daniel Antrobus, a 48-year-old Florida man who slashed himself while trimming a tree with a chain saw but died after refusing to come down for medical attention. A man so dedicated to the tree trimming profession deserves a salute but when the choice came down to life or limb, he chose poorly.

Sadly, these are but a drop in the bucket of fool-hardy individuals keeping our headlines fresh, our late-night monologues current and our lowly columnists busy.

To paraphrase the wise sage Mr. T, Pity the fool — but feel free to laugh.

Maybe humor is the day’s gift after all.

 Michelle Durand’s column "Off the Beat” runs every Tuesday and Thursday. She can be reached by e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 102. What do you think of this column? Send a letter to the editor: letters@smdailyjournal.com.