Let’s hear it for the mobile phone. It’s a technological blessing ever more valuable as the years roll by. Uses for the handy device are seemingly endless. A favorite for this correspondent is communication while shopping inside big box stores.
Costco is one such retail venue. That enterprise’s facilities are so massive, so spacious, a wandering customer can get lost. Well, maybe not lost in the traditional sense, but lost in a capitalist maze of various and sundry products that can scramble and disorient the cerebellum.
What’s more, keeping tabs on a straying partner trolling long aisles stocked with two-story shelving crammed with stacked goods of all sorts and sizes can be a problem without a personal phone, flip, smart, whatever.
On a recent visit to the gargantuan Costco airplane-hangar-sized building off State Route 92 in Foster City, the electronic conversation went something like this:
“Where are you, my jewel?”
“I am checking out some of Costco’s Kirkland bargain briefs.”
“Brilliant. I lost my bearings but I think I’m near the detergents. Wait, I see pesto lasagna samples up ahead. Yippee.”
“Don’t overeat. I will buy you a Costco wiener later if you behave.”
“Great. Hold the ketchup. Oh, I see enticing hot chickens dripping and rotating up ahead.”
“Forget about those. We will have California roll tonight.”
“Get the jumbo pack. Oh, where shall we meet?”
“Do you know where you get fitted for glasses?”
“I do. Let’s rendezvous there in 10 minutes.”
“Sure. And don’t get sidetracked by the big screen TV sets or the glitzy computers.”
“No worries. I know my limits.”
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“Really? I don’t think so. That’s why we still have three Jeroboams of Costco mayonnaise you bought in 2016 festering in a greenish hue out there in the garage.”
“I stand guilty as charged. I am going to disconnect now.”
“As am I. Cheerio.”
“Cheerios? I’ll grab a six-pack on the way.”
“Heaven help us.”
Click.
A COYOTE’S GENETIC ROOTS: Residents who live in the quiet Burlingame/San Mateo neighborhoods near Washington Park and the Woodlake condo complex east of the Caltrain rail line have been all atwitter lately as a curious coyote has loped briskly along avenues and alleyways in the area on a fairly regular basis.
Up-close sightings (one of which was experienced by your faithful scribe not far from Rollins Road last week) of the scrawny canine have engendered multiple mobile phone photos and buzzy comments (some of them rather alarmist) on social media.
It’s almost as though the suburban denizens have somehow dismissed the obvious: Coyote Point got its moniker for a reason — those scavenging animals may have inhabited those precincts earlier than modern suburbanites. They may not be endemic but they could have a legitimate claim on the territory.
Historical records do not definitively explain the origins of the name but we are sticking with the animal theory.
The current creature in question may be simply following his/her genetic roots. Hey, it could be its ancestral territory. We can’t be certain. But cut the critter some slack.
PACIFICA CAN COMMUNICATE: San Mateo County is nothing if not diverse — maybe beyond diverse. There is a great example of our stunning overall ethnic/linguistic variety in Pacifica these days. There, the coastal town’s government has instituted a robot phone translation service that features — wait for it — no fewer than 75 different available languages. Seventy-five. Thank goodness for artificial intelligence.
GREAT BIG APPLE NEWS: The NFL playoffs commenced last weekend. And, glory be, with blatant East Coast media bias as rampant and annoying as ever, it is a real comfort to note that both New York NFL teams, the Giants and Jets, are not participating. Both Big Apple entries were BAD with a capital B this year. Life is good. Yes, I admit I suffer from chronic schadenfreude. It’s a personality flaw, one of several.
THERE IS STILL TIME: Nominations for inclusion in the Peninsula Sports Hall of Fame, which made its debut in 1989, are still being accepted through the end of this month. Please email complete bios to the address below. This year’s induction event is set for June 25 at the San Mateo County History Museum in downtown Redwood City.
COAST LIONS OBSERVE 75 YEARS: Meanwhile, back in Pacifica, here are belated kudos to the town’s Lions Club. The membership has just finished celebrating the club’s 75 years of dedicated service to the coastal community. Nice work.
John Horgan began writing a neighborhood diary at the tender age of 9 in San Mateo. He’s been doing much the same thing as a Peninsula journalist for decades ever since. You can contact him by email at johnhorganmedia@gmail.com.
Great column today, Mr. Horgan, especially the amusing Costco conversation. It’s just as amusing when one looks in the cart and finds a food item not on the shopping list but that was buried under an avalanche of other groceries so as not to bring attention to it. What’s even more amusing is when you enjoy that new food item more than the person who placed it in the cart. Guilty. Many times. Time to heat up a Kirkland breakfast sandwich paired with coffee from my giant Dunkin’ canister. BTW, how about that new MAHA food pyramid? Are Cheerios on the list?
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(1) comment
Great column today, Mr. Horgan, especially the amusing Costco conversation. It’s just as amusing when one looks in the cart and finds a food item not on the shopping list but that was buried under an avalanche of other groceries so as not to bring attention to it. What’s even more amusing is when you enjoy that new food item more than the person who placed it in the cart. Guilty. Many times. Time to heat up a Kirkland breakfast sandwich paired with coffee from my giant Dunkin’ canister. BTW, how about that new MAHA food pyramid? Are Cheerios on the list?
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Keep the discussion civilized. Absolutely NO personal attacks or insults directed toward writers, nor others who make comments.
Keep it clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
Don't threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Anyone violating these rules will be issued a warning. After the warning, comment privileges can be revoked.