Odds & ends -- mostly odds

He says after a jaunt to his doctor all is now fine but will not elaborate on what tweaky thing actually caused his entomological interlude. Maybe it really was a tumor or simply the crickets left in the state budget coffers after the May Revise.

But eyebrow-raising moments aren’t reserved simply for public figures.

For instance, consider the recently rebuilt area outside my office building I lovingly refer to as trash hut. A few weeks back in this space, I confessed just how far I’ll go to procrastinate by detailing the depressingly long amount of time spent watching laborers build what must be the fanciest garbage area in the world. For those who care, the project is now complete — a true work of art. Cement was poured (you just might find "DJ” carved into a far corner of the concrete — maybe), fencing installed , barbed wire strung along the top to prevent unwanted visitors to the dumpsters inside and the whole thing painted a lovely, deep green as to camouflage its true purpose.

And then the front gate was left unlocked and wide open. An odd take on security, it would seem.

Or, what about the hyperactive man-boy at a recent baseball game who asked several times if he could buy me a churro for my birthday? This begs two questions: Why did I agree to wear a Happy Birthday tiara in public? Secondly, why didn’t I lie when asked if the seat was taken between me and the two older gentlemen inflating my ego with comments on how young I looked? After repeatedly denying his offer of cinnamony baked goods and post-game festivities, he told me it was too bad because "You look like you were fun back in the day.”

The day? Really?

Not what a birthday girl in her third decade wants to hear. Just as he probably didn’t want to hear what he could do with his churro.

Over in my favorite neighborhood coffee shop, two patrons had a rather animated debate on whether animals ever commit suicide. The only time an animal dies unnaturally is when humans are involved, a woman offered. How do you know a dog doesn’t purposely run in the road to end it all? a man countered. Sucking down caffeine and completely eavesdropping on the pair at the other end of the coffee bar I had one thought about this odd exchange: Lemmings.

And just in case I ever thought work was ever a safe haven of normal in a sea of weird, a reader called to say he agreed with one of my columns. He found the realization because in all the years he held the same opinion and he thought that there was something wrong with him. I guess that means there might be something wrong with me.

Yes, sometimes the oddities of the world are those right outside the door — or the ballpark, or the coffee shop or the voice mail. When that well dries up, there are still public figures like the guvernator to fill the requisite oddball quotient. Unlike him, though, the budget makes me see red instead of bugs. Maybe that’s because I remember when things were better — you know, back in the day when I was fun.

Michelle Durand’s column "Off the Beat” runs every Tuesday and Thursday. She can be reached by e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 102. What do you think of this column? Send a letter to the editor: letters@smdailyjournal.com.