Dialogue gives me hope

As an antidote to war, dialogue gives me hope. Dialogue is the opposite of discussion, debate or denial. The key ingredient is “deep listening.” Listeners ask questions until they can repeat the story to the teller’s satisfaction. Roles are reversed so that both sides have a chance to hear the story of the “other.”

“An enemy is someone whose story you have not heard” was a slogan often proclaimed by Dialogue Group co-founder Len Traubman, now of blessed memory. In dialogue, “the other” becomes your friend. Len also pointed out that there are things that governments can do that people cannot, such as wage war, negotiate peace treaties, or enact policies on a national scale. Yet, there are things that ordinary people like you and me can do that governments cannot. We can initiate and build relationships, decide how to live together in peace and prosperity, and create a society in which all people thrive. Libby Traubman, co-founder with her late husband, has kept the Dialogue Group going, with its vision of a peaceful future, since Len’s 2019 passing.

Participants in the Dialogue Group refuse to be enemies, despite coming from communities led by people who dictate otherwise. Our friendships transcend war, hatred, and atrocity. In addition to our monthly meetings, members present panels in educational settings and in religious institutions throughout the Bay Area and beyond, demonstrating the power of dialogue.

As a retired academic, I am most persuaded by rigorous research. Studies have established that women’s leadership style is more conducive to collaborative communication, achieving consensus, and resolving conflict than that of men. Yet, no women sit with the peace negotiators who are tasked with ending the war. Further, democracies are about the people governing themselves, making crucial decisions that affect their future. Why are the Americans, Egyptians and Qataris controlling the peace process? The enmity between Hamas and Israel makes it impossible for them to come to agreement. As currently set up, I believe the peace process in the Middle East is doomed to fail. Instead, world leaders should select Jews and Palestinians in supportive and caring relationship for these sensitive negotiations, with women serving as facilitators and mediators.

The Book of Isaiah teaches that we Jews are charged with being a light unto the nations. Instead, the IDF turned out the lights in Gaza. In her inauguration poem, “The Hill We Climb,” former National Youth Poet Laureate Amanda Gorman describes how to fulfill Isaiah’s prophesy: “There is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.” With the prophecy fulfilled, defense and offense can dissolve into each other. Light can be restored to Gaza.

Dr. Miriam Zimmerman is professor emeritus at Notre Dame de Namur University in Belmont.