There’s a bat in our belfry, oh my

We turned on more lights. We opened every door to the outside. We sought to induce the bat to exit ASAP. It did not cooperate with any sort of alacrity at all. It paused. It dawdled. It rested on a tiled bathroom floor. It then zipped into the living room, reinvigorated and seemingly hell-bent on creating chaos in the comfy confines of our suburban manse.

The bat would not be deterred. It would not cooperate. It persisted. Fortunately, it was not dangerous in the slightest. It was tiny and disoriented. It was lost and confused.

My wife of 57 summers offered that the uninvited guest was outside its normal ecosystem, its natural comfort zone as it were. It was to be understood and not seen as especially rude, she offered. We just wanted it out of our kitchen.

“It doesn’t like light,” offered my life partner. “A bat is an integral part of our environment. It eats mosquitoes.” In truth, I was not aware that those insects were on the menu of some bats. But indeed they are. Lovely.

I made a dumb reference to Bram Stoker’s classic novel and his fictional Transylvania blood-sucker, Count Dracula. It was not appreciated. The bat continued its wild search for an escape route. Finally, it did so.

And, just like that, it was gone. We shut the doors. Domestic tranquility was restored. No one was worse for wear. Not so sure about the bat.

TIME FOR THE BAY OF BRISBANE?: OK. It’s not the Gulf of Mexico anymore. At least that’s the dictum oozing out of the White House these chaotic days and nights. It’s the Gulf of America. Sure it is. Not everyone is going along with the name change. So it doesn’t appear to be setting a precedent. Still, is this an appropriate time for us to alter geographic identification here too? Why not. We’ve got a potential shift for the Peninsula. San Francisco Bay is so yesterday. Let’s call this body of water the Bay of Brisbane or maybe the Sea of San Carlos. Both have a nifty ring to them. Time to contact Google Maps. Or maybe not.

THEY ARE NOT FORGOTTEN: When Hillsdale High School opened in 1955, hundreds of youngsters then attending San Mateo High School were moved to the new campus in the southern part of San Mateo. They were not forgotten by their friends and fellow students at their former school. Their one-time classmates from San Mateo have been conducting a combined reunion with their “lost” Hillsdale compatriots for a number of years. All of the alums are now in their 80s. The next reunion is set for lunchtime Sept. 20 at Harry’s Hofbrau in Redwood City. For more information, alums can call John Savage at (650) 455-6131.

OCEAN SHORE’S DOUBLE LOSS: A sad irony was no doubt palpable in Pacifica recently. The poignant occasion was a celebration of the life of Anthony Corten, the late principal of Ocean Shore Elementary School in that Coastside community. His passing occurred at a very difficult time because the school is scheduled to be shut down due to slumping enrollment in the town. The reaction to that decision has been met with deep unhappiness that has divided families in the city. It will be a double-loss when the closure does take place. With heavy hearts, at least 1,000 people reportedly packed the gymnasium at Terra Nova High School to pay their final respects for Corten.

PLEASE, LEAVE MY CAR ALONE: Tesla drivers are becoming increasingly paranoid. For good reason. The company’s visionary and controversial creator, Elon Musk, has become a target of folks unhappy with his daily draconian efforts to ferret out government waste and fraud. As a result, some of his company’s automobiles are suffering from occasional vandalism. A vigilant reader spotted this sign on a Tesla window here: “I don’t like him either.” In other words, “Leave my car alone. Please”

Email: johnhorganmedia@gmail.com.