The power of eating together

The three of us acted as chefs, waitresses and servers for our guests. While the event lasted only three hours, it was the product of weeks of meticulous planning — designing menus, creating a guest list, arranging seating and decorating my backyard with lights and handmade place cards. We wanted our guests to feel welcomed and warm as they sat down. 

What we didn’t expect was how much the evening would mean to our friends and family. For weeks afterward, people came up to us and told us how grateful they were to be invited and how special the evening felt. The night reminded me how powerful it is to be able to gather people around a table.

That memory returned to me last month when I read reports of the 2025 World Happiness Report, which recorded an 80% rise in young adults dining alone in the United States. 

When my mom also happened to read about the report, she implored, “Promise me that next year when you are at college, you’ll eat at least two meals a day with friends … even if you wake up late or are busy studying for finals.”

My immediate reaction was, “I never eat alone,” but I know that’s not true. Although I almost always eat lunch at school with friends and have family dinner at home, in today’s over-scheduled, over-busy world, I have skipped breakfasts, had meals on the go and eaten alone while working at my desk, and I can imagine it will only get busier in college.

The 2025 World Happiness Report found that those who regularly share meals report higher life satisfaction and lower levels of stress, depression and anxiety, regardless of age, gender or geography.

But our country is trending in the opposite direction. In the study surveys, 1 in 4 Americans reported eating all of their meals alone the previous day — a 53% increase since 2003.

This report isn’t that surprising. Even before the pandemic and subsequent quarantine cut people off from friends, loved ones and support systems, nearly half of American adults were grappling with a different kind of “–demic”: a silent nationwide epidemic of loneliness. Over the last five years, it has continued to affect a growing number of Americans. In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy called social isolation a public health crisis. The effects are especially severe for young people. Loneliness follows a U-shaped curve, peaking in young adulthood and again after age 60. 

Our generation, in particular, is at risk. The rise of social media has made us more “connected” than ever — but not in ways that count. The surgeon general’s report cited a study showing that people who used social media for more than two hours a day were twice as likely to feel socially isolated as those who used it for less than 30 minutes.

So what can we do? Instead of scrolling mindlessly on our phones while we eat, we can meet someone for lunch. We can bring a picnic lunch to the beach with friends. Or we can organize a potluck with friends. It can be vulnerable to put yourself out there to invite someone to a meal, and it can be a lot of work to plan, prep and clean up after organizing a dinner party, but the benefits are well worth the effort. Eating may not be the first thing we think about when we think about loneliness, but I believe it can be a first step toward building real social connection. 

When I think back to that night in my backyard — watching people laugh, clink glasses and pass plates across the table — I remember how full the space felt, not just with people, but with warmth. After hearing how loved and seen our guests felt, my friends and I decided to make our backyard restaurant an annual tradition. Even after graduation, we’re determined to keep bringing people together around a table.

Feeding people is more than just cooking. It’s community. And it might just be one of the most important things we can do for each other today. 

Josie Belfer is a senior at Nueva School in San Mateo. Student News appears in the weekend edition. You can email Student News at news@smdailyjournal.com.