Gone to the dogs

A few minutes later, another woman walked in rolling a square filing box containing another dog whose breed I could not describe except to say it is of the small, nervous variety.

A few days later, inside yet another eating establishment, a close personal friend and I could not help but notice, as we bit into our sandwiches, another customer walk by with a midsized dog.

In a few minutes we had devised a new game. Feel free to send me your own submissions.

We are calling this game When Did It Become OK …

As in, When Did It Become OK … for people to bring dogs into restaurants?

Heck, I thought it was against some kind of health and safety code to bring a dog into a restaurant. Not anymore, it appears, sort of. In 2014, Gov. Jerry Brown, who owned a corgi, signed a law allowing pets in restaurants that provided outdoor patio dining facilities. There are supposed to be separate entrances for dog and non-dog people. So, no, this willy-nilly bringing of Bowser (nobody calls their dog Bowser) to any restaurant quickly went by the boards.

You get the game. Somewhere, somehow, a set of rules changed and things that once were never done now are done with a seeming indifference that is admirable in its carefree manner — as in carefree of what actually might be good for other people. As George Costanza said in his distinctive manner: “We live in a society!”

Continuing on, When Did It Become OK … for people to drive with little dogs on their laps? You will see the dogs looking out the driver’s window at a stop light and wonder a) how this can possibly be safe for the driver, b) how this can possibly be safe for the dog, c) why it is so hard to put the dog elsewhere in the car where it might be less of a distraction, and d) why it is so hard to leave the dog home. I do not need to look this one up. This has to be illegal. And if it is not, I would rather not know.

When Did It Become OK … for people to wear pajamas anywhere they want? Wander someplace like Burlingame Avenue and you will encounter more than a handful of young people dressed, at minimum, in flannel pajama bottoms. I know they are comfortable. That is among the reasons they are good to wear in bed on a cold night. But when did jeans, or almost any other kind of trousers, suddenly become so dreadfully uncomfortable that the only solution is to look like you got out of bed and ran out of the house without thinking: “Wait, I should get dressed first.”

In a similar vein, When Did It Become OK ... for people to wear slippers anywhere they want? In an era featuring the most comfortable shoes known to mankind, it cannot be that hard to put on some socks and lace up some shoes. I still do it every day. At my advanced years, it is not always an easy reach, but I never expected to regard it as a special activity. Here’s a career tip: Go into podiatry. A generation of flat feet is headed your way.

When Did It Become OK … for people to hold phone conversations in public with the phone on speaker? It is bad enough when people walk down the street in rapt conversation via earbuds, although it has made it harder to tell when someone is on the phone or having a conversation with internal demons. But, really, I feel no need to hear both sides of the conversation. It is noise pollution, nothing more. And maybe some of those conversations deserve to be a little more private.

And so on. This is only a partial list. I suspect you have your own additions. Feel free to share. We are all in this together.

Meanwhile, let’s wrap with two good ones: When Did It Become OK … for me to become such a grouch?

And: When Did It Become OK … for Mark Simon to have a column?

Believe me. I feel your pain.

Mark Simon is a veteran journalist, whose career included 15 years as an executive at SamTrans and Caltrain. He can be reached at marksimon@smdailyjournal.com.