Monica Medrano is a Foster City police officer now but yesterday she recalled the traumatic years before reaching that goal and breaking free from domestic violence.
She remembered being 6 years old, cowering on the floor while her drunk father shot off a gun in the backyard and wondering if she was next. She remembered her father convincing responding officers her mother was crazy, not abused. She remembered threats with butcher knives, with warnings not to cry or flee, with emergency dispatchers so familiar with her voice she didn’t have to give a name. And finally she remembered the day an officer connected her mother with domestic violence counselors, offering up shelter and services never available in the 1980s when abuse was left unaddressed.
On Friday, Medrano refused to be silent during a Day of Remembrance in which those who got out marked their survival and everybody in attendance honored the 21 victims who couldn’t escape in the last 10 years.
Melissa Lukin, head of Community Overcoming Relationship Abuse, said she tries to figure out how to explain to a 7-year-old that sometimes people who are supposed to like or love each other can be abusive. It’s difficult, she said.
CORA fielded 8,000 calls last year, including 3,000 crisis calls from law enforcement. Domestic violence is still tinged with shame, meaning these are probably just a quarter of actual incidents, Lukin said.
Some of those incidents become well publicized. The list of 21 fatal victims reads like a who’s who of intimate crime in San Mateo County.
On Oct. 6, 2002, Eddie Rapoza drove a minivan off a Moss Beach cliff, killing his 34-year-old pregnant wife, Raye Lynn, and 4-year-old daughter. Rapoza survived the plunge and was sentenced to life in prison without parole.
On Oct. 28, 2003, Emerenciana Lecaroz, 47, died of several stab wounds in her Belmont home. Her boyfriend Johnny Sotto, the prime suspect, was found dead in Golden Gate Park.
On March 25, 2005, Sharen Theresa Sulpizio-May’s estranged husband attacked with a pair of poultry shears in the hallway of a San Mateo office building. Sulpizio-May, 40, died and Lawrence May was sentenced to life in prison without parole.
On Aug. 18, 2005, Tony Richards, 53, killed his 54-year-old wife, Nicole, and two daughters, 17-year-old Alexa and 13-year-old Tessa because of mounting financial problems. He placed their bodies in a backyard freezer before typing a multi-page confession to police and killing himself.
On July 22, 2006, Tamika Mack-Norton was fatally stabbed by her husband, Quincy Dean Norton Sr., as their young children were in nearby rooms. Norton was recently convicted of first-degree murder for the second time and will be sentenced in November.
Charene Mack, Tamika’s mother, didn’t initially want to speak at Friday’s memorial but eventually agreed. Flanked by her daughter, Nicole, Charene Mack asked the audience to join them in lighting candles for Tamika, the other deceased victims and every person affected by abuse.
"May these flames burn brightly to illuminate the problem of domestic violence,” she said, adding it also reflects the warmth of their love.
The newest entry on the victim list was Parima Parineh who died April 14 in her Woodside home. Her husband is accused of shooting her and staging the scene to look like a suicide but has not yet had a preliminary hearing or trial.
Friday’s event, which in part marked October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, began with a slew of resource tables including victim assistance and legal help. Among the tables in the plaza of the County Government Center were near-life size purple cutouts representing specific victims. A bright yellow tag at the bottom offered their names and times of death, offering vivid reminders of once vivid lives.
Pastor Albert Macklyn of New Sweet Home Church said the goal is not just for victims to free themselves but for everybody to participate in breaking the cycle of violence.
"If we don’t stop it now,” he said. "Who is going to stop it?”
Victims remembered, 2000-2010
Luisa Mora Calderon
Redwood City, Sept. 26, 2000
***
Lois Marshall
Daly City, Sept. 6, 2001
***
Raye Lynn Rapoza
Moss Beach, Oct. 6, 2002
***
Tehani Rapoza
4 years old, killed with her mother
***
Sienna Rapoza
Raye Lynn’s unborn child
***
Adella Samaniego
San Mateo, March 21, 2003
***
Sarah Vanessa Reyes
3 years old, Millbrae, Sept. 2, 2003
***
Emerenciana De Villa Lecaroz
Recommended for you
Belmont, Oct. 28, 2003
***
Sharen Theresa Sulpizio-May
San Mateo, March 25, 2004
***
Jose Ernesto Crespin Arita
Menlo Park, Aug. 8, 2004
***
Olivia Carias
San Bruno, May 7, 2005
***
Ana Laura Osorio Salazar
South San Francisco, June 20, 2005
***
Salvador Juarez Barragan
South San Francisco, June 20, 2005
***
Rosa Vargas Gomez
Redwood City, July 2, 2005
***
Nicole Marie Richards
San Mateo, Aug. 18, 2005
***
Alexa Leontine Richards
17 years old, murdered with her mother
***
Tessa Germaine Richards
13 years old, murdered with her mother and sister
***
Fatima Raquel Fernandez
South San Francisco, Jan. 2006
***
Tamika Mack-Norton
Daly City, July 22, 2006
***
Linda Lomas
Redwood City, May 21, 2007
***
Parima Parineh
Woodside, April 14, 2010
Michelle Durand can be reached by e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 102.
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