Avoiding abuse meant struggling to pay rent: Fundraiser benefits mom and disabled son seeking to stay at school district

Nesbit Elementary School Principal Robin Pang-Maganaris and Belmont Vice Mayor Charles Stone have started a GoFundMe campaign to help Tanvir afford a place to live locally so Ibrahim can stay in the school district.

Over the past three days, 167 people raised $12,625 for the campaign “Help Ibrahim and Mom Get Happy Home.”

“For me, I guess the whole time in my life, it’s been someone wants something in return. So at first, it was like ‘why would someone want to help me?’ But I told Robin, I actually woke up happy today,” said Tanvir. “I’m really grateful and happy that there’s still people out there like that.”

Ibrahim, a second-grader at Nesbit, has cerebral palsy and mitochondrial disease. But Tanvir has begun dedicating her life to not only helping her son; she also works two jobs as a caregiver for a 15-year-old with disabilities and is a substitute paraeducator.

Their housing struggles began nearly three years ago when Tanvir said she finally stopped making excuses for the physical abuse she endured at the hands of her husband, a man she was arranged to marry after her mother died.

Of Pakistani decent, the California native said she was cast out after she decided to leave her husband.

“There’s a lot of women like me out there, especially coming from the culture I’m from. It’s just that they’re held back, they’re taking it because they think they have to. But we’re living in a place where they respect women’s needs and women’s health,” Tanvir said, hoping her story empowers more people to escape domestic violence.

She had aspiration of going back to school to study criminal justice and become a police officer or begin a career in which she can use her own experience to help other domestic violence survivors. But those dreams were put aside as she focuses on making ends meet and paying rent.

It wasn’t easy at first, but “emotionally, I’m getting better as time is passing by,” Tanvir said.

There were periods when they slept in their car, stayed on friend’s couch and lived in the InnVision Shelter Network’s San Mateo facility. About two months ago, she was finally able to rent a single room in a Redwood City home, but continues to struggle to afford the area’s high cost of living, Tanvir said.

Pang-Maganaris, the principal at Ibrahim’s school, said she feels for the young single mom whose child is bright, despite his inability to speak. Ideally, she would like to raise enough to help Tanvir support a year’s worth of rent somewhere in the district and allow Ibrahim to continue with his special day class program.

“The mom was working so hard with two jobs and they just had to move into a single room for rent. When we heard the story, it’s touching. Because it’s already so hard when you’re a single mom, and raising an exceptional child, it gets even harder,” Pang-Maganaris said. “As is true with the entire Bay Area, housing costs are insurmountable. At the same time, Ibrahim needs to be in the program that he’s in. There are not very many programs designed to support kids with exceptional needs and keeping him at Nesbit is important.”

Stone said he was lucky enough to meet Ibrahim, who has a wonderful spirit that lights up in his eyes, during a school event.

“It’s just a reminder that as tough as it is for most people to live around here, it’s even tougher for people like Ibrahim and his mother,” Stone said.

When Pang-Maganaris suggested the fundraiser, Stone said he was eager to help.

“If we can do something in Belmont, where we have a tradition of helping people out, and get them into a home for the holidays, I think that’d just be wonderful,” Stone said. “Here you’ve got a woman who’s working two jobs to make ends meet and then taking care of a child that needs very serious attention and care. And it’s just such a shame that we have such an imbalance between the amount of housing we have and the amount of jobs we have on the Peninsula; that it creates a real affordability crisis.”

While the initial goal was to raise enough to cover the cost of a deposit as well as first and last months’ rent which is typically required to move in somewhere, Stone and Pang-Maganaris said they hope to be able to give Tanvir security for a year.

“This particular time of year is when people feel like they want to give and reach out to others,” Pang-Maganaris said. “And if it’s this to Ibrahim, or another charity, it’s all the same as long as we’re trying to do our best for our own families and others.”

Visit gofundme.com/helpingibrahim for more information or to donate.