Editor,
I am looking for someone to star in my upcoming movie “The Governor of California.” That character must be a strong leader able to deal with all types of issues, be fiscally responsible, and, above all, make the quality of life for all citizens enjoyable.
So, Gavin, a lot is riding on this movie. I have seen your auditions and performances in starring roles as a two-term mayor of San Francisco, one-term lieutenant governor of California, and one-term governor of California but I have concerns. A noticeable number of viewers have walked out of your latest movie and are going to Florida and Texas. I am also concerned with the prices of your movie tickets; it’s higher than anyone pays in any other state. Wherever you perform, crowds gather but only camp outside the theater and don’t want to pay to come in. In fact, you actually pay them to sleep outside.
And your recent movie is bombing. Why is that?
Well, the critics in Hollywood couldn’t review it until now and when they were about to drive up here to review it, power outages made it impossible to charge their EVs so they chose to use the high-speed rail instead, only to find the nearest station in Bakersfield. Worse yet, upon arrival, there were no trains or even tracks there.
Thanks for the interview, Gavin, but don’t call us, we’ll call you.
Next.
So, your name is Brian Dahle.
Victor Carboni
San Mateo
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(1) comment
Great letter, Mr. Carboni. I like your style. I’m sure the word count limit for letters didn’t allow you to expound on more of Newsom’s failures but you’ve hit a few highlights. Vote for Dahle.
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