Editor,

These words are something our generation rarely says and, unfortunately, forced to say from time to time.

Thank you Dad and all the real men out there who strive to be good dads. You gave us life, you gave us your last name, you gave us that mysterious gift and you taught us the game of life. I’m beginning to think it’s true, it doesn’t really matter who our fathers were; it only matters who we remember them to be.

Emile Manara

Brisbane

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(12) comments

Lou

Warren Farrell: Absent Fathers Big Factor in Mass Shootings

American Thought Leaders

AMERICAN THOUGHT LEADERS

JAN JEKIELEK

“There have been six mass [school] shootings that have killed more than 10 people … All six of them have been done by boys who have been dad-deprived—from Sandy Hook right on through to the Texas shooting,” says Warren Farrell, author of “The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It.”

The recent horrific Uvalde, Texas school shooting has prompted heated debate about gun control, school safety, and mental illness. But few are zeroing in on the importance of a father presence, Farrell argues.

The absence of an involved father is “the single biggest predictor of suicide… [and] one of the biggest causes of mental illness in boys and drug addictions in boys,” Farrell says.

Jan Jekielek: Warren Ferrell, such a pleasure to have you back on American Thought Leaders.

Warren Farrell: Oh, I’m so looking forward to our discussions, I always love them.

Mr. Jekielek: Well Warren, I’ve been thinking about you lately in the wake of this recent mass shooting. And one of the things that came to my attention, because this is such an important issue, was that this young man that did this horrific act was, as many of them that have done it over the years, dad deprived and dad deprived in a very serious way. And you’ve been writing about this.

Mr. Farrell: Yes, yes, indeed. And I see, every time we have a mass shooting, we hear… In the Buffalo one we heard this replacement theory-style hatred, and then the next time we hear, access to guns and the next time it’s access to toxic politics and poor family values, and violence in the media, and violence in video games and mental illness. Well how could you possibly have anybody do a mass shooting and not be mentally ill? But the key thing is that our daughters live in the same families with the same family values, they’re exposed to the same replacement theory-style hatred and toxic politics, they’re exposed to the same guns, the same video games, the same media, they suffer similar mental illnesses, yet our daughters are not doing the killing, our sons are." (Epoch Times interview and video)

craigwiesner

Thank you! I'm grateful to my father, Herbert, who was always most joyous when he was helping other people. I'm also, of course, grateful to all the mothers, cousins, neighbors, friends from synagogue, aunts, uncles, and other people who made up the tapestry of my life. May we do all that we can to be there for today's children so that they can look back some day and be grateful for all of us.

edkahl

Thank you for your letter. Fatherless families are one of the biggest causes of our social ills.

craigwiesner

Says who?

Lou

"https://lifeisbeautiful.org/statistics-on-fatherless-homes/

IMPORTANCE OF FATHERS IN HOMES........

90% of all homeless and runaways come from fatherless homes

85% of all fatherless children exhibit behavioral disorders

85% of youth in prison come from fatherless homes

75% of adolescents being treated for drug abuse are from fatherless homes

75% of adolescent patients in substance abuse centers don't have involved dads

75% of rapists motivated by misplaced anger don't have a dad while growing up

71% of all high school dropouts don't have a dad

70% of juveniles in state-regulated institutions come from fatherless homes

63% of youth who commit suicide do not have a father in the home

57% of the fatherless homes are black households, 31% are Hispanic, and 20% are white.

Terence Y

Lou, thanks for the link. As an added note for those interested, sources for cited statistics are contained in the link.

craigwiesner

With a little bit of work I found that the data you're quoting is from unreliable and biased sources, cherry-picked, and in some cases completely debunked, but, notwithstanding that... Let's say that we can agree that significant social problems exist when children are raised in situations where they do not have a good balance of developmental assets to help move them towards successful lives. Can we agree on that? If so, then let's look at something like the Search Institute's 40 assets. "Search Institute has identified 40 positive supports and strengths that young people need to succeed. Half of the assets focus on the relationships and opportunities they need in their families, schools, and communities (external assets). The remaining assets focus on the social-emotional strengths, values, and commitments that are nurtured within young people (internal assets)." Research that started in the 1960s and has continued through today shows that we can dramatically improve children's lives and their outcomes as adults if we help make sure they have as many of these assets as possible. So, instead of railing against single parent homes, how about you join me and countless others who have been working on helping children have as many of those assets in their lives as possible. Look at the website linked to below and ask yourself what YOU can do to help some child somewhere have access to more of those assets. Maybe it means you volunteer for an organization, maybe it means you reach out to a family in your neighborhood with kids who could use a kind and wise adult role model, maybe it is advocating for MORE social-emotional learning resources in schools, maybe it is donating to organizations that provide services to children and youth..... Maybe you already do much of that, like I do, and if so great. Let's do more. We KNOW what assets children need to thrive in this country. Let's spend less time blaming and more time making a difference. OK?

craigwiesner

And here is a link to more info on the Developmental Assets. https://www.search-institute.org/our-research/development-assets/developmental-assets-framework/

Tommy Tee

Apparently, Sean Hannity.

Tafhdyd

Mr. Kahl,

I don't doubt that fatherless homes are a contributing factor to some of our social problems. The question is, do you offer a suggestion for a solution to that problem or do you just state it as a comment and move on.

craigwiesner

I've been blessed to be part of children's lives who were raised by two women, two men, one woman, one man, and the woman/man combination. While there have been ups and downs for all of these families they have all mostly thrived in part, I believe, because the parents surrounded their children with everything they could provide for their kid's success, INCLUDING other people who helped round out their kids' world experiences. Your comment to Mr. Kahl is spot on. The solutions to helping kids thrive and become healthy adults have been researched for years and one example of concrete ways we can help children is through the Search Institute's 40 developmental assets. Each of us, and government, and nonprofits, communities of faith, etc... can make a HUGE difference in children's lives. We just need the will to do it. Check out the Search Institute's 40 Developmental Assets. https://www.search-institute.org/our-research/development-assets/developmental-assets-framework/

Jorg

Tafhdyd: It is also an open question how many were unwanted children, perhaps a result of incest or rape, where the unfortunate women were prevented from having a most wanted abortion?

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