I got the call from John’s middle school on a Monday afternoon.
“Mrs. Pariso, your child has expressed thoughts of suicide and has been cutting themself for the last two years.”
I froze in disbelief. How could this have happened? When I finally talked to John (his name has been changed to protect his identity), he told me he had reached out to his elementary school counselor two years prior and showed her the cuts. The counselor did nothing to help my fourth grader. There were no comments in the school health file, or was a report made to the teacher or principal. There was no parent contact.
The system I had so highly regarded and trusted had massively failed my family.
My son is not the only one. Once during a lesson, I glanced under the desktop of one of my students, Jessica, and saw a 6-inch box cutter. Then, in a moment that felt frozen in time, I saw her actually cut her wrist. I called the school counselor and the front office for assistance. Luckily, we were able to contact Jessica’s parents to begin the process of getting her help.
The challenge for educators like me is that there is no official protocol for identifying and supporting students like Jessica to ensure we take appropriate steps. More broadly, how can we create a supportive environment that promotes their emotional and psychological health?
After helping Jessica, I turned my attention back to the rest of the class and noticed a student with tears in their eyes. I wrote a hall pass so she could wait in line to speak with the next available counselor and then returned to teaching my math lesson.
It was all I could do at the moment, but I wished I could do so much more.
The mental health crisis among our young people is well documented, and young adults in California experience mental health challenges at alarming rates. These mental health concerns directly impact our students’ ability to learn, concentrate and perform academically.
With uneven and unpredictable education funding, California schools are left with tough decisions on whether to supplement the costs of mental health services or spend the money on teachers and educational programs.
I believe that a statewide investment in mental health services is an investment in our children’s education because addressing students’ mental health concerns would ensure that they are more likely to engage in their studies, participate in class and achieve better academic outcomes.
One solution is to have part of that investment go toward hiring more counselors for our schools. California schools average 527 students for each counselor — more than double the recommended ratio of 250 to 1. After the fateful call about John, I learned that his elementary school counselor had to split her time between multiple school sites to fulfill her student-to-counselor ratio. John was lost in the shuffle of hundreds of other children.
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Every school should have an appropriate student-to-counselor ratio, and no counselor should be charged with serving multiple schools simultaneously.
Another solution would be to have part of the investment fund teacher education and statewide professional development. Teachers interact with students daily and are often the first to notice changes in behavior or mood that could indicate underlying mental health issues. Educating teachers equips them with the knowledge to recognize these signs early, allowing for timely intervention and support.
Also, teachers educated about mental health can create a supportive classroom environment where students feel safe discussing their feelings and seeking help if needed. This can contribute to a positive school culture that prioritizes mental wellness and ensures all students get the help they need.
Equally important would be passing state legislation to ensure students in all grades receive the mental health resources they may need. California’s education code mandates that all students receive suicide prevention resources, but John never received the suicide prevention lifeline information. He was in fourth grade when his mental health rapidly declined and by fifth grade was already contemplating suicide.
Mental health concerns are not exclusive to middle school and high school and we must ensure that elementary school students also have the support they need.
Lastly, we need to develop a common protocol for the steps educators, administrators and school counselors take when there is a mental health crisis. Such a protocol would ensure that all staff members understand their roles and responsibilities, lessening the likelihood of confusion or miscommunication during a critical situation.
This protocol should outline procedures for maintaining student privacy and confidentiality while still ensuring that parents and mental health professionals have access to the information they need.
After six years of intense therapy and counseling, John told me he finally felt happy.
“I feel beautiful in my skin,” he said.
I am thankful our family’s story has a happy ending. California must ensure that every child’s story ends the same way.
Rebecca Pariso is a seventh grade math teacher and a Teach Plus California policy fellow. She wrote this for CalMatters.org, a nonprofit, nonpartisan media venture explaining California policies and politics.

(8) comments
A quality option - Lifewise.org
When a family raises their children in California and then expects public education to be answer for anything, then you have children who are depressed from being socially DEI brainwashed and then act irrationally. School vouchers are a better answer than hiring more counselors which is nothing more than throwing money down the proverbial Union drain. As Lou, suggested LifeWise.org seems like a good option, private schooling, andmost importantly, PARENTAL awareness and involvement.
Do private schools, particularly religious ones, have the same problems?
They can.
All schools can have problems. The difference is with public education or public indoctrination the school hides normal issues ( private schools don't) that many children experience from the parent when the parents need to be informed and involved in the process. Thanks to Gavin Newsom and Rob Bonta, public education now feel that they are qualified doctors and psychologists and suggest that gender identification is the problem and then in secret regularly prescribe changing a child's gender. (No one speaks up because Rob Bonta threatens anyone who disagrees with his sick way of thinking with a lawsuit. ) If anyone doesn't think that's not going to ruin a kid then there's little hope for society.
Thanks for your LTE, Ms. Pariso, but I’d have to wonder whether mental health issues are more of a problem in Bay Area schools rather than a pervasive issue across the entire state, or across the nation. And when did mental health become an issue? Since the advent of Social media? TikTok? Instagram? BLM? DEI? You say California schools average 527 students for each counselor – more than double the recommended ratio of 250 to 1. Where did this recommendation come from? Regardless what are the root causes of various mental health issues? If you don’t address these causes, you’ll never catch up.
Health issues. For instance, people with diabetes are 2 to 3 times more likely to have depression than people without diabetes. 1/3 of children have diabetes. And autism. 30 yrs. ago only 1 in 10,000 had autism. Now it's 1 in 34. (vaccine caused?)
EMF's and 5G. Electromagnetic sensitivity. Computers and radiation in classrooms, at home and towers. It is said that all people are affected, and 30% can feel it (actually aware and have symptoms.)
Confusion about sexual identity. What am I ?? (gender? Same as I was born?)? Should I be transitioning. Whew!
When you morons replaced God with Pills - you sealed your fate.
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