Flossing over the truth

"How are we doing on flossing?” the hygienist queried, as though I could answer properly with a dental pick and water spray vying for equal space in my mouth.

"Not as good as I should be,” I replied, feeling like I wasn’t being totally dishonest.

The answer, after all, was technically true even if it didn’t stretch all the way to the more accurate "hardly-to-never” reality. Granted, my brain knows that a dental professional can probably ferret out the truth with just a glance of my teeth and gums but I think my heart hopes I can somehow pull the wool over her eyes.

The little white lies won’t help my teeth hold up any better but for those minutes I’m in the chair they assuage my guilt at failing when it comes to personal health.

For some folks, flossing is second nature. Brush, floss, rinse. Maybe their parents were sticklers for the process when they were forming their childhood dental habits. They probably brush the full two minutes recommended by dentists, too, rather than guessing at when all the teeth seem clean and minty.

For the rest of us, picking up the floss and taking the extra minute or two to thread it through on a regular basis is like squeezing blood from a stone. We know we should do it, we think about doing it. Heck, we might even shell out good money on specialized products in hopes of motivating ourselves to floss (I’ve heard rumors of $40 floss being sold but asking me to believe that is like asking my hygienist to accept that I floss more than sporadically). Resolution makers in the new year often promise to floss more alongside weight loss and financial responsibility. Yet, a day or week or so after the last visit propels a temporary spate of discipline, we return to stopping oral hygiene after the brush is rinsed and set away in the medicine cabinet.

As a result, I dread the dentist not in any phobic, anti-pain or anti-drill way but for the sheer base reason of my own deception. I hate lying yet I can’t bear seeing the look of disappointment when I say that I knowingly avoid a minor act that could help my health. My reaction is nearly childlike. I am the one perpetuating the deception yet I blame the dental office for placing me in the position to choose honesty or stretching the truth.

In comparison, some people love the dentist. My co-worker Nick celebrates each trip to the dentist by buying the entire office doughnuts. Needless to say, I love it when he pops in for his six-month checkup. I can’t say the same about my own appointments — probably in part because I’m not flossing after enjoying his post-dental pastry.

Instead, my bi-yearly cleaning reduces me to a childlike creature willing to cross my fingers and fib on flossing. Maybe my news year’s resolution then will not to be better about flossing but to own up to my own failures, much as I have with an inability to send Christmas cards or take a multi-vitamin daily. At least I have 11 more months to ponder the possibility. Until then, I’ll risk the health of my teeth and continue lying right through them.

Michelle Durand’s column "Off the Beat” runs every Tuesday and Thursday. She can be reached by e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 102. What do you think of this column? Send a letter to the editor: letters@smdailyjournal.com.