Too soon old

By the time we are senior seniors, all of our experiences must be good for something. Maybe if we had absorbed much of the following when we were younger, life would have been a bit easier and more rewarding. So, with the help of that very clever quipster, Ashleigh Brilliant, plus Martin Seligman and Francis Moore Lappe, I offer a few things that are helpful to keep in mind through thick and thin. Just remember that no matter what the circumstances, it helps to remember the following, especially during these trying times.

1). Change is inevitable throughout life, and being able to roll with the punches — giving, when appropriate, the benefit of the doubt, and adjusting to adversity is where it’s at. As Mr. Brilliant would add, “Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.” There are some things that, no matter how much we may wish them to change, will never change, and we may as well accept that fact.

2). As Brilliant wrote: “The really great people are the ones who make the little people feel great.” Seligman would add: “Doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have ever tested.“ — “Flourish.”

3). If, as human beings, we are trying to avoid doing ourselves in, we must concentrate on using our heads AND our hearts. Corollary, “We have no choice about whether to change the world. We are changing it every day. The choice is only whether our acts contribute to the world we want or not.” — Lappe: “Eco-Mind.”

4). There is too little independent thinking going on in the world. This has resulted in many people following those with influence like sheep. Obedience, conformity and faith are mindless and manipulative concepts. Corollary: Just because a person is powerful or notorious doesn’t mean that he/she is well-educated, is correct in his/her beliefs or cares one whit about anyone else. Skepticism is very important. As Mr. Brilliant wrote: “History records a no more gallant struggle than that of humanity against the truth.”

5). Feelings are not only emotional, they affect us physically. Corollary: Joy and happiness are not only good for the soul, but contribute to physical health. Anger and hate are not only socially destructive, they can seriously undermine our health and well-being and that of those around us.

6). No one will ever truly understand me (sometimes I don’t either) and in that way I am alone in the journey through life. It helps to develop healthy and rewarding relationships with well-meaning family and friends all during our lives since they can contribute much to life satisfaction. Corollary: A loving person is one who has a healthy love for his/her self and therefore can love others.

7). A sense of humor is very valuable and can make a great difference in the quality of life, but only if we can laugh at ourselves when appropriate.

8). We must be aware of the many people in this world (often politicians) who focus on nothing but themselves and their personal objectives — often manipulating others to suit their own purposes.

 9). If there was ever a time when we need to take stock of some of life’s lessons, it is during such trying times. When things are looking grim, it is important to try to keep our spirits up as best we can. Even as we’re increasingly isolated, it’s important to continue communicating on the telephone, on the internet or especially FaceTime.

10). “Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I gain consciousness.” — Brilliant.

I’ll end with two more insightful thoughts by Mr. Brilliant that especially apply to the crisis we are facing now. “My biggest problem is what to do about all the things I can’t do anything about.” “Considering the direction things are going, it’s impossible to predict in which direction they’ll be going next.”

Since 1984, Dorothy Dimitre has written more than 1,000 columns for various local newspapers. Her email address is gramsd@aceweb.com.