Four years in just the blink of an eye

I spent my years joining clubs that reflected my passions and only taking on APs I personally found interesting. I involved myself in sports I loved and met an endless amount of unique people. I took many risks and tried as many new things as possible, which led me to find a passion for journalism and a love for a new sport.

Now, I sit at my desk writing my last column, anticipating my last lacrosse game and editing my last article of the year. AP tests are over for me and I just finished my last high school finals ever, concretely marking the end of my journey. Four years of hard work and the most stressful times of my life now over, and it all feels unreal, like it simply did not happen. I find myself getting teary eyed as I write this, as this experience is so surreal my mind can neither comprehend it nor believe it.

While I am proud of all that I’ve accomplished in these past four years, and, like I said, I truly do not have many, if any, regrets, I do find myself still wondering if I have wasted potential that has built up over my years in high school. But what I remind myself is that the end of high school, or any era really, does not mean the end of all life or the end of potential success. I thus look to college with big, wide eyes and even bigger ambitions than I had entering high school. I know the future holds even more accomplishments, opportunities and possibilities than I could ever imagine, and I feel fully prepared to take that next step, no matter how terrifying that may be.

It’s wild to me to think that just three years ago, I was having my mom drive me around and take me to football games in my Carlmont Scots gear and face paint, my friends sitting in the back drinking their Starbucks frappuccinos and devouring their bagels.

You really don’t believe it until you experience it, but high school goes by way faster than you think. A wise teacher once told me: “You always think you have more time than you do,” to which I laughed and did not give a second thought. However, I am now finding that she was very correct, that every day is only a modicum of my time on Earth, and every year of high school starts and finishes without you even realizing it.

I also heard someone say the other day that high school is the “last four years of your childhood,” which really sent me spiraling into an existential crisis. I mean, I still order chicken tenders from the kid’s menu without hesitation, but soon enough I’ll be a tax-paying adult who lives on their own. No longer will I be able to sit on my bed while my mom kindly does my laundry, neither will I be adequately nourished by my grandma’s homemade Korean snacks while I sit hunched over at my desk for hours. I will truly be independent.

College courses are meant to prepare me for a profession, meaning there’s a lot more on the line now. I won’t be treated as a child anymore nor can I perceive the world through a childlike lens. I cannot rely on my parents to pave a path for me or to provide me with political ideologies with which to align. College is a time to truly find oneself and it is a leap closer to the end goal.

Hopefully, one day, you will see my name appear in the paper again, however, this time it’ll be plastered above an article covering some sort of momentous happenings abroad or something bigger than a reflection on high school. I have so much life ahead of me yet I feel as though I’ve lived so much already.

As cliche as this sounds, ending high school is really like finishing the first book in a series and ending on a cliffhanger — you don’t really know what is coming next, but you have a number of different possibilities in your head.

With that said, my last piece of advice to you all, no matter your demographic, is to savor every moment of your life and to live with the hope that you will look back with no regrets.

Natalie Doud is a senior at Carlmont High School. Student News appears in the weekend edition. You can email Student News at news@smdailyjournal.com.