When a relationship turns gray

So certain that the current relationship is akin to the Antichrist, you jump. You kick aside the old to take up with the new object of desire. That emotional pull, you are dead certain, will never go away.

Yet, with the passage of time, those ideas don't seem so novel anymore. The inflections are silly as are most of the quirks. You realize they have faults - have always had faults - but were protected by your gaze of adoration. Suddenly, you start thinking fondly of old love. You wonder if you should call. You see them everywhere. Ever remember they were so funny, so confident? Where were those quips and those bursts of personality before the breakup?

Or, worse, new love eerily begins to seem like a carbon copy of the one they replaced.

Then, you ask yourself, why is that Arnold Schwarzenegger seems so like his predecessor, ousted former leader Gray Davis? Wait - Schwarzenegger? Yep, just as the shine can dull off a new lover, the same dim can happen with a once-adored politician. No longer newlyweds, fickle Californians are second-guessing their messy break up with Davis.

Davis ran off to be a commercial star and write a book. Considering how long California voters strung him alone, Davis bounced back nicely. Schwarzenegger, buoyed by Kennedy connections, a celebrity wife and Hollywood power, held on to his allure for a while. But just celebrity wonder-couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston hit a rocky patch, so did California and its latest paramour Schwarzenegger. Polls plummet, opinions change and it's going to take a lot more than a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates to put him back in the state's good graces.

Much like Davis did before his departure, Schwarzenegger has now dipped in approval ratings nearly 30 points to 37 percent. Only 39 percent of registered voters would re-elect the Guvernator, according to the nonpartisan Field Poll.

Polls are like a circle of close friends during a breakup - quick to point out shortcomings, slow to welcome them back with open arms - so their opinions should be taken with a grain of salt. However, just like good girlfriends and honest drinking buddies, sometimes even pollsters know what they are talking about.

Every relationship has its six-month honeymoon end and hits the sophomore slump of a second anniversary. Now, it's up to Schwarzenegger to see if he can survive or suffer the second thoughts that plagued Davis. At least Davis can point to rolling blackouts or the cyber-bust as a reason for his popularity decline. What exactly does Schwarzenegger face? So far, the state's treated him well. The won't be a "It's not you, it's me" conversation. Right now, it's all him.

The fun, easy-going guy most of us fell in love with has been replaced by a more opinionated, less flexible version of himself. He stands up to nurses and nurses, he battles against claims of sexual harassment, he suggests cutting pension plans. If Schwarzenegger wants to stick around for the long haul he's got to harken back to his winning personality during the brief, albeit intense, courtship. Bad boys are the ones you have a fling with; not the one's with which you build a future.

Michelle Durand's column "Off the Beat" runs every Monday and Thursday. She can be reached by e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 104. What do you think of this column? Send a letter to the editor: letters@smdailyjournal.com.