The ever escalating razor war

Have we as a society gotten to the point that we need such shaving systems? I for one, don’t need a system — I just need a razor.

There are several odd things about the Power Razor. It has five blades. It vibrates on demand for no apparent reason. And it has a spotlight. A spotlight.

What’s next? A foghorn? A MP3 player? Actually, Apple might already be working on an iPod razor. What about a shaving cream shooter?

Since the invention of the twin blade razor in 1971, Gillette and Schick have engaged in a cold war of shaving technology with the average consumer left to suffer. First it was two blades. That I can understand. Two became three and three became four. Then some marketing brainiac decided five blades with an extra blade on the back for "precision” trimming was necessary. Maybe you wouldn’t need "precision” trimming if there weren’t five blades on the front.

Along the way, there were pivoting heads, lubricating strips that are just kind of oozy and gross and microfins that make the piece of plastic seem like some sort of seafaring vessel. There are turbo razors that fly around in the commercial and "Mach3s” that seem supposed to tap into some inner yearning to be Maverick in "Top Gun.” Though he was well groomed.

The problem with the razor war is that as new razors come out, the refills for the old ones are no longer sold. So consumers looking to hold onto to an old razor body in an effort to be kind to the environment and save money are forced to upgrade to a newer and more expensive model. I recently got stuck with one that has room for a battery so it can vibrate for some reason, but I quickly took that battery out. Something about any form of battery power and running water makes me nervous. It’s only a matter of time before this one will be obsolete.

I contemplated getting an old school model in which you replace just the razor blade, but those are hard to find and a straight edge and a sharpening strop just seems silly. I just don’t want anything to do with anything called a "strop.”

I am told technological upgrades for female razors happen less often. Switching to a Venus might slow the cold war just a bit, but I’m sure the changes will come faster eventually and I’ll be stuck constantly upgrading a pink or purple razor.

I know there is money to be made with the refills, and I know the industry is cutthroat, but I’m tired of the constant barrage of nonsense the companies come up with in an attempt to get new business. Nix the shaving "systems” and create a normal razor that doesn’t seem like it was designed in space and I’ll buy refills forever. There is money to be made there I am sure. I can’t be the only one in a lather over this one.

Jon Mays is the editor in chief of the daily Journal. He can be reached at jon@smdailyjournal.com