Remember those dark, archaic, sad days when children had to use the library microfiche machine to research reports and pen pals actually involved placing a writing utensil to a sheet of binder paper?

Remember how minors only needed to fear taking candy from strangers and the local sex offenders hung out at the creepy adult bookstores with the shielded windows? Dates were found in church or through friends. Movie times were culled from newspapers and making a dinner reservation required a call to the restaurant. Dinosaurs might have walked the Earth, too, but it's unclear. Let me Google it to find out for sure.

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