There's no place like home

I'd like to think of myself as a San Mateo taxi driver. The only difference is I chauffeur my visitors around in a red Jeep Cherokee instead of a yellow Ford Crown Victoria.

My friend and Barnard classmate Kelsey, a Drew Barrymore look-a-like, is here visiting me until Thursday. We flew home to San Mateo last week, the day after our last final, Introduction to Psychology, a class we had together. Kelsey is from Peterborough, Ontario, a town "a-boot" an hour and a half northeast of Toronto. She and I met on the first day of school at Barnard; she was a first-year beginning in January, too. An interesting piece of trivia about Kelsey: She went to high school with Carmen Lischman, the girl who the movie "Fly Away Home" is based on. Cool, eh?

Kelsey's only visit to San Francisco took place long ago with her family. But, as far as tourist attractions go, she only really cared to revisit the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz. She told me at the outset of her visit that her primary interest was in shadowing my life in San Mateo: Dining in the restaurants I eat at with my friends, visiting my various places of employment, and seeing all the endearing San Mateo attractions where I pass all of my time. It was as though she were an anthropologist plunked down with a particularly strange species: Gracia Suburbiana.

When she first told me this, I panicked. Downtown San Mateo is really only six or eight blocks square. How could I possibly keep her entertained for a week? All this time I had assumed I would keep her busy with Chinatown, the Metreon and Union Square. Why did she care about San Mateo? But then I realized that she understood what I had forgotten while away at school: There's no place like home.

I have come to terms with the fact that I will never hold as firm a grasp on New York City as the taxi drivers do. However, I am remarkable at navigating my way around San Mateo and its neighboring cities. Ask me for the best hamburger joint in town (Jeffrey's Hamburgers on Second Avenue and B Street) or the best place to find a perfect first date outfit (Lulu Boutique on Baldwin Avenue) and you won't catch me off-guard.

I could draw you a map of Hillsdale Mall, recite the menu of any downtown restaurant, and introduce you to downtown San Mateo's most lovable giraffe (see Leon in Central Park). I know this city like the back of my hand.

So what if San Mateo isn't as big as New York City? Does that make my knack any less impressive? Besides, in the next three months while I'm home from school, it won't matter where the Statue of Liberty is or where the cheapest Italian restaurant is located on the Upper West Side. So, taxi drivers, who has the upper hand now?

It is now Tuesday. I am officially on my fifth day of my San Mateo adventure with Kelsey. She loves it here. She's already sad to be leaving, and I haven't even taken her to Heidi's Pies yet. One taste of their homemade apple pie and she'll really be sold.

Grace Kallis is a graduate of Aragon High School. She is currently attending Barnard College in New York City. Her column, Graceland, appears every other Tuesday. If you have some news you'd like to send Grace's way, e-mail her at gkallis5@hotmail.com.