Sunday morning after worship in 1999, I was dashing through the church office and noticed Stan Grams sitting at the office manager’s desk, stuffing envelopes. “Whatcha doing Stan?” Stan was fundraising to help dig clean water wells in our partner community in El Salvador. Eighty-five, retired, having lost the love of his life, his wife, a year earlier, Stan visited Communidad Octavio Ortiz and fell in love with the people. On his way home he felt like his life experience didn’t prepare him to feel so helpless to make any difference in their lives. Sitting in a Texas airport waiting for his next connection, he met a young man and they chatted. Stan shared how hard it was seeing children with distended bellies because of the foul water they drank, knowing that some might die before becoming teens. The young man shared that he had been working in the oil fields of Texas and thought that, maybe, old drilling equipment could be sent to countries like El Salvador to help drill deep clean water wells. The difficulty, he said, would be the cost of getting that equipment where it was needed and building teams of people to drill those wells. Intrigued, Stan took his contact information and followed up. Soon, it became Stan’s mission to get that equipment where it was needed and train Salvadorans to dig “living water” wells.
“Craig,” Stan said. “I spent my entire life waiting until the time was right, turning down invitations because I had other things to do, kids to raise, work, church stuff, and I realized, in El Salvador, that I had wasted too much time, squandered too many opportunities, waiting.” Wow. I had no words. I just kept listening. “Do something for me,” Stan said, “If you get an invitation to do something, go somewhere, don’t say you need to wait until the time is right, until the next project is done, until you have more time. If it feels like something you should do, say yes.” I sat for the next hour and helped Stan stuff envelopes. When we were done Stan told me that he was about to leave on a trip he had put off for decades, to visit Egypt.
The following Sunday during our prayer circle our pastor shared the news that Stan had been on Egypt Air Flight 990, which plunged into the Atlantic on Oct. 31, 1999. I broke down in tears and suddenly felt two hands on my shoulders. Arlene Schaupp, the woman who had been the heart and soul of our connection with El Salvador for years, quietly said “Craig, I know how much this hurts. Please come with me next year to El Salvador and you can wash your tears in the clean water that Stan helped bring to our friends.” She could not possibly have known about my conversation with Stan. How could I say no? My husband Derrick and I went the following year. I’ll never forget the day when, nauseous from the heat, having not slept well for a couple of days, I pumped water from one of Stan’s wells and poured that cold living water over my head. I’ve never looked back.
Later, after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, had broken the hearts of the world, another invitation. “We need someone Jewish to be part of an interfaith peace delegation to Afghanistan.” I pictured Stan at that office desk stuffing envelopes and remembered the beauty of that living water and said yes. My husband insisted on going too, because he knew how much El Salvador had changed us and how much Afghanistan would do the same, so we both needed to be together for that evolution. We went. We changed. Nothing has been the same since. Thank you Stan.
So, what’s the point of this column? There’s little chance that one of you readers will walk by me while I’m stuffing envelopes. The Daily Journal has given me this incredible gift of a virtual desk with people reading and wondering “Whacha doing?” I’m Stan, I’m Arlene, I’m telling you that there is beautiful living water in El Salvador, wonderful people in Afghanistan, amazing sites in Egypt, incredible opportunities a block away, if you answer invitations with “yes.” Still, don’t let people take advantage of your openness! Theologian and friend Robert McAfee Brown also taught me that sometimes saying “no” is equally important. Many of my yesses have been invitations to take action against injustice. His book, Saying Yes and Saying No, confronts the dilemma that exists when government policies seem to clash with ideas about God’s kindom of peace and justice. We can and should, of course, disagree on those clashes so I’ll close with this invitation, let’s talk and listen to each other!
Stan Grams and Robert McAfee Brown, Presente!
Craig Wiesner is the co-owner of Reach And Teach, a book, toy and cultural gift shop on 25th Avenue in San Mateo.
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(2) comments
Mr. Wiesner, you brighten my day with your columns, always uplifting. Thank you!
Yes!! Thank you Craig for another wonderfully reflective piece about living life fully!
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Keep the discussion civilized. Absolutely NO personal attacks or insults directed toward writers, nor others who make comments.
Keep it clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
Don't threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Anyone violating these rules will be issued a warning. After the warning, comment privileges can be revoked.