No place like home

Although the setting is surely not at all what the Pilgrims envisioned when they held their first Thanksgiving feasts, to my mind Thanksgiving is less about where you are, and more about who you are with.

This trip down to San Diego is just one of many that my wife and I have taken lately, after a long, dry spell thanks to a certain virus-caused contagious disease. Almost exactly two weeks ago, we flew to the Pacific Northwest for a couple of days with the aim of greeting our newest grandchild (our third, although this is the first for our youngest son and his wife).

We were of course delighted to meet the new baby, but were also happy to be able to help out our son and daughter-in-law, who needed a bit of a break.

We brought them meals, and my wife watched the baby while our kids took a much-needed nap. As for me, while they were resting I did a couple of household chores and ran a few much-needed errands.

My oldest son and his family also live in the Pacific Northwest. Both of my kids attended universities in Oregon (different schools, though), where they each met their future spouses.

Although both retain a fondness for the Bay Area – the place where they were born and where they lived until going away to college – upon graduation, neither chose to move back home. Instead, they put down roots not far from where they went to school. They found jobs and places to live, got married and, after a few years, had children.

While my wife and I would be delighted if our kids lived closer, we’re fortunate in that they aren’t really all that far: a roughly 10-hour drive gets us to them, as does a 90-minute flight (or a 16-hour Amtrak ride; when we can, we love to take the train).

So, although we don’t see our kids and our grandkids nearly as often as we would if they lived in or near the Bay Area, we do see them several times a year, which is fine by us.

When people learn that our kids live relatively close to one another, but don’t live close to us, they invariably ask us if we’re planning to move closer to our kids and their families. Our response is always the same: Although we might do so some day, when we’re much older and perhaps in need of some assistance, for now we have absolutely no plans to move.

We like where we live. More importantly, we like the people around us: the community of friends and acquaintances we’ve built up over the almost 40 years we’ve lived in the Bay Area. Moving would mean saying goodbye to all of those folks, and would mean having to make all new friends — something we’re not at all interested in doing.

If we won’t move, what about having our kids move closer to us? Given our area’s high cost of living, that would be something of a challenge. They currently have good jobs and, because prices are more reasonable where they live, they each own a single-family home large enough to comfortably house their families.

By selling those homes I expect they could afford some sort of housing somewhere in the Bay Area, but it would surely be a big step down from what they have now. Employmentwise, they’d of course have to find new jobs, although that probably wouldn’t be a significant barrier given that they have solid jobs and good work histories.

No, their real problem would be the one that my wife and I share; they’d have to move away from the circle of friends they’ve built up over the years since they went away to college. And neither family seems interested in doing that.

Selling our house and moving to somewhere with a lower cost of living would make financial sense, but life isn’t all about money.

For some I understand the necessity, but we have ties that keep us here: ties that no amount of money can make up for. It is for the friends and acquaintances who make up those ties, and for all our Redwood City community, that I’m thankful for this year.

Along with my children and grandchildren, of course, who we plan to see over the Christmas holiday. Just one more trip to add to the pile.

Greg Wilson is the creator of Walking Redwood City, a blog inspired by his walks throughout Redwood City and adjacent communities. He can be reached at greg@walkingRedwoodCity.com. Follow Greg on Twitter @walkingRWC.