Saying good-bye

At age 13, Tessa Richards was just two years away from qualifying for a black belt in judo, but last night she became a sensei and earned a final bow from her San Mateo teammates.

About 30 children dressed in white uniforms walked to the front of a St. Timothy's Catholic Church while approximately 500 onlookers watched with tears in their eyes. They gathered at the church last night say their final good-byes to Nicole, Alexa and Tessa Richards. The mother and her daughters were killed by husband and father Tony Richards in a drastic case of domestic violence in their San Mateo home last week.

Tony Richards was not remembered at the service last night. Instead, speakers chose to focus on the promising futures of two bright, young girls and their supportive mother. Alexa, 17, was making plans for college and Tessa, 13, was well on her way to judo stardom.

"She taught me more then anyone else about how to live life without fear. She is now my sensei" said San Mateo police Officer Mike Buckle, Tessa Richards' sensei.

Barely containing tears, Buckle described a rising judo star with a great sense of determination. At age 9, Tessa Richards pushed herself beyond what others her age could or should do, he said.

Buckle and seven other team senseis placed their black belts below a picture of Tessa with a trademark beaming smile in her white gi, or uniform.

She began winning judo competitions in 2002 and took home championship medals in 2003 and 2004. It was a feat Buckle warned her was nearly impossible to accomplish. That's when Tessa smiled and said she knew what she had to do, Buckle recounted.

Those who knew her best said the 2008 Olympics in Beijing wasn't out of the question for Tessa. Like her older sister, Tessa had potential for great things, friends said.

Alexa, 17, would have been a senior at Notre Dame High School in Belmont. She was on part of the leadership, French and admissions clubs. She was also part of the school's junior varsity swim team. Alexa spent the summer as a lifeguard for the San Mateo Parks and Recreation Department at Joinville pool.

Both Tessa and Alexa Richards were involved with the San Mateo Police Activities League for seven years. Their mother Nicole was often the typical team mom who baked cookies and cheered her daughters on.

The girls attended St. Timothy's school. Tessa attended through fifth grade and would have returned as an eighth grader when school resumes next week. Alexa attended through eighth grade before going to Notre Dame.

On Aug. 18, police found 54-year-old wife Nicole and two daughters, 17-year-old Alexa and 13-year-old Tessa dead in their home's backyard freezer. Husband and father Tony Richards called police to report the murders before shooting himself in the head with a shotgun. When police arrived, they found a typed confession by Tony Richards that cited mounting financial problems as reason for the murders.

In fact, Tony Richards was both physically and verbally abusive and without a steady source of income. He only killed his wife and children after Nicole Richards threatened to divorce him, close friends told the Daily Journal this week.

The revelations only posed more questions to the young crowd of mourners. Many are already grappling with the difficult questions of how and why such a horrific event could happen.

"I used to wonder what death was," Tessa's middle school friend Eva McEvoy tearfully told the crowd. "But if you're never sad, you don't know what happy is."

McEvoy now knows the grief that makes people appreciate better times. She said it was disappointing to know a person "so full of color" was being remembered by a crowd "all in black."

At the funeral Saturday, guests are requested to wear bright colors to celebrate the family's passion for life.

Dana Yates can be reached by e-mail: dana@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 106. What do you think of this story? Send a letter to the editor: letters@smdailyjournal.com