Oh baby! What's the best name?

The top names of 2004, according to Babynames.com, are Aiden, Ethan and Caden for boys while Madison, Emma and Abigail are popular for girls. Lists for the last few years include many of the same names although their positions vary. Jacob, Joshua, Hannah, and Grace are among the more traditional sounding usual suspects over the last decade.

San Mateo County does not compile statistics on the popularity of baby names but in California during 2003, Daniel, Anthony, Andrew, Jose and Jacob topped the list, according to the Social Security Administration. California-born girls receiving Social Security cards were likely to be Emily, Ashley, Samantha, Isabella or Alyssa.

The chosen name not only reflects the family, but also dictates whether the newborn will spend his or her life pigeonholed as born in a particular era, is immediately labeled as "cool" or "nerdy" by fellow students or will never receive mail spelled correctly.

Even the process of choosing the right label for a baby becomes a highly individual activity. While little girls often grow up naming every doll in sight and compiling lists of future children, men typically don't carry the same list around in their head. Some parents know what they want to name their offspring long before the possibility becomes a reality. Others believe in waiting until the birth to ensure a name fits the tiny newborn before them. One problem is talking about names with family and friends, giving them a chance to denounce it months before the baby's due date.

Baby names are dictated by just about every religion, taste and whim. In some faiths, babies are named after a recently deceased loved one while some families have the same middle name for every firstborn child.

In early European days, children were named at their baptism a few days after birth. Typically, they were named after a godparent with a limited pool of options including Elizabeth, Anne, Joan, Margaret, Alice, Mary and Agnes for girls. The majority of boys became John, Thomas, William, Richard or Robert. Now, the options are wider but still follow some traditions. For instance, Orthodox Greeks customarily name babies after the father's parents while the French honor grandparents with middle names.

Even in the United States today — where customs are not so rigid — specific ancestry such as Hawaiian, African-American or Native American may be honored with a more traditional name.

The popularity of names can also help pinpoint just when somebody was born. A Heather, Sarah, Zachary, Jennifer or Jason probably hails from the 1980s and 1990s while those stuck with something more, um, nature-based like River, Ocean or Sunshine smacks of the 1960s.

Celebrities often start trends, so don't be surprised to see a flock of Apples (Gwyneth Paltrow) or Hazels and Phinneaus (Julia Roberts) crowding kindergarten classes in the next five years. It might also account for the recent popularity of Jaden (think Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's son), Milo (thanks to actress Liv Tyler) or Aaliyah (after the now-deceased young singer).

There is a fine line between choosing something unique and picking something a little too different, according to name experts. Bambi might be cute for a 2-year-old but not quite fitting for a corporate lawyer in her 30s. Also, some names have become so synonymous with an individual they aren't easily appropriated. Think Fabio, Madonna, Cher or Elvis.

So, how to choose? The experts at Babycenter.com suggest sound and compatibility, uniqueness, meaning, possible nicknames and initials and ancestry. They also caution parents-to-be against making an announcement until the baby is born - when it is too late for well-meaning people to offer unsolicited advice.

Michelle Durand can be reached by e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 104. What do you think of this story? Send a letter to the editor: letters@smdailyjournal.com.