Guilty Pleasures

MONDAY ... The Republican National Convention (PBS, 5 p.m.) It's the Republicans' turn to take center stage as they take on Madison Square Garden in New York. There will be limited coverage so I recommend, oh, wait ... I'm sorry. These are the Republicans. The media, you know, the liberal one, will undoubtedly cover the week's events, wall-to-wall. If you want some untainted coverage, I recommend PBS or CSPAN. Looking for the "right" spin? I think you know where to turn. The Complex: Malibu (Fox, 8 p.m.) Premiere. Eight couples fix up California condos and auction them off. The couple whose project goes for the highest price gets to keep their winnings. Sounds like Melrose Place goes reality television. Or maybe that's just my wishful thinking. The Last Comic Standing (NBC, 9:30 p.m.) Premiere. It's on ... Season 1 takes on Season 2 after what seems like only moments since Season 2 ended. Is it me, or do the losers of these contests get more airtime than the winners? Growing Up Gotti (A&E, 9:30 p.m.) In an all new episode, with Victoria's schedule spinning out of control, she hires a personal assistant to fulfill the Godmother's tasks. First up, downsize the massive guest list of her son's graduation party while preparing V's wardrobe for a photo shoot. Will the spunky New Joisy girl buckle under da presha?

TUESDAY ... Father of the Pride (NBC, 9 p.m.) Premiere. The first episode of this new animated series follows a family of tigers that works for the infamous Vegas duo, Siegfried and Roy. I don't think there will be any re-enactments of Roy Horn's latest animal encounter as the series was well underway when the attack took place. John Goodman, Carl Reiner and Cheryl Hines lend their voices to the tamed cast. Scrubs (9:25 p.m.) Premiere. Heather Graham guest stars as a ditzy psychiatrist who makes an attempt to mend the staffs' ever-growing problems.

"Tell me more, tell me more"

WEDNESDAY ... Hawaii (NBC, 8 p.m.) I know what you're thinking - the last time we saw ER's Sharif Atkins, he was leaving the hospital to go fight in Iraq. But here he is on the beaches of paradise, playing a cop. Oh, Dr. Gallant, your patients will be without you in Chicago. That said, Sharif and castmates fight crime for this new "filmed on location" cop series blending felonies with Hawaiian hotspots. Example: In the first episode, a smoldering torso is discovered at the base of a volcano. At least they get a little sightseeing done on the job.

THURSDAY ... Truth be told, there isn't much in the way of entertainment on television this evening. Strike that, intentional entertainment. Sure, FX, owned by none other than the Fox network, is playing Schwarzenegger movies, coincidentally I'm sure, on the final night of the Republican National Convention. But let's face it, we should all be tuned in to watch President Bush officially confirm his nomination to run for a second term as President of the United States. Have a reason for why you are or are not going to vote for Bush? My guess is that by tuning in, Bush will help you make that decision, for better or for worse.

FRIDAY ... Just get out of your house. Go enjoy the long weekend and don't set your TiVo's. Trust me; you're not missing a thing.

SATURDAY ... See above.

SUNDAY ... The Surreal Life: Season 3 (VH1, 10 p.m.) The ultimate in car-crash reality shows returns with six new celebrity has-beens for the rest of us to point and laugh at. New roommates include Jordan Knight of New Kids on the Block, Full House's Dave Coulier and American Idol castoff Ryan Star.

"Summer dreams, ripped at the seams ... But oh, those suuuuu-uuuu-uuu-mmmer ... niiiiiiigggghhhts!"