The unkindest cut of all

I am reminded of the Indian epic "Ramayana." The principle character, Prince Rama, leaves the country for 14 years to live in forests to fulfill a promise made by his father, Dashrath, to Rama's stepmother. When Rama is gone, King Dashrath could not bear the separation. So intense is his love for Rama, Dashrath dies soon after longing for his son.

There is also a legend in India that Emperor Babar prayed to God to spare his son's life and take him instead when Prince Humayun was critically ill. As Humayun recovered from his deadly disease, the emperor died soon after.

When I left home for greener pastures, my own father did not go to the extent as Dashrath. However, the sacrifices he made to raise me and my four siblings are very admirable. For fear of uprooting us from our education and friends, he declined a better job offer away from our hometown. He has and still stands by his children in good times and bad. Even today, when I am in doubt, a telephone call to this man living thousands of miles away brings peace and often answers to my questions. When I was homesick in an alien country, his letters about the great explorers of the world inspired me to stay on and enjoy and learn new cultures I was blind to.

My colleague talks about his hunting holiday every year with his father. I could see the unique bond between these two men. Every son deserves the unique warmth a father can bestow on his children, not cold-blooded ambush.

I dread to imagine what would have gone on in the mind of Benson when his own father lifted that knife and plunged it into his body. Did Charles Loo forget the little child that came running to him? Did he not remember the first steps his son took? Did he not recall the first time Benson called him "Daddy"? Did he not dream his son growing into a successful man?

If true, Benson's death in the hands of his own father is yet another painful reminder of a decayed mind worse than the soul Faustus pledged to the devil.

To be born as Benson Loo was not his choice, but his father had a choice and responsibility. With no history of past misbehavior and indications of things to come, how does anyone identify these decaying minds?

There are numerous instances where custody battles turned fatal. But children are not possessions. They are individuals with needs, aspirations and dreams. If a parent can't take part and help children realize their goals, the least they can do is stay away and let the children figure out themselves what is best for them.

The good values parents pass on to most of us help us follow a path of righteousness, seek prosperity and create families modeled on those values. One unkind act by a father does not damn all of us. Every day we see fathers holding their young one's hands; fathers dropping off their children at schools and fathers working hard to provide the best for their children. Even a harmless hen would turn violent to defend its young ones. That is the reality.

Ram Venkatraman's column appears every Friday.

He can be reached at ram@smdailyjournal.com.