SPEAK UP on intimate partner abuse

Nationally, it is recognized that one in four women and one in seven men will be involved in domestic abuse during their lifetimes but, in California, that number is higher, with approximately one in three women and one in four men experiencing abuse. Not only are these rates alarming, but frequently the individuals involved have received little to no help to move out of abuse, leaving the situation to escalate and creating generational impact for the children raised in these homes. 

Over the last year, San Carlos has made meaningful strides in educating our community about intimate partner abuse, which encompasses physical, sexual and psychological harm. It is our hope that by sharing our learnings, other cities will join our efforts.

“What can we do?” was the question we both heard most frequently from San Carlos residents following Karina’s murder. As mayor and vice mayor at the time, we recognized the urgent need to address domestic violence with more than just prayers at vigils. Our first step was to connect with CORA (Community Overcoming Relationship Abuse), San Mateo County’s only nonprofit agency solely dedicated to helping those affected by intimate partner abuse. We felt it was important to take a bottom-up approach and ask CORA how San Carlos could support their work. In a short amount of time, CORA proposed a project that we brought forward to our colleagues. The San Carlos City Council then moved quickly to grant $50,000 to CORA, which was used to create the SPEAK UP Program, an outreach effort designed to educate small business owners and employees, as well as general community members about how to recognize the red flags of abuse and listen to survivors. 

When we stop to consider the people in our community who may notice signs of abuse, from bruises on arms to emotional signs of trauma, we may think of employees in beauty salons, retail shops, restaurants, medical and dental offices, fitness and wellness trainers, as well as church pastors and children’s services. These businesses and their employees have regular face-to-face interactions with the public and that is why CORA targeted them for outreach in San Carlos. Since the SPEAK UP program launched in January, CORA has completed 100 outreach interactions and is on track to complete 60 presentations with these types of businesses by the end of the year. Recognizing that employees at these workplaces are incredibly busy, the presentation concludes within 15 minutes and is packed with the tools needed to know what to say, and not to say, to someone who may be experiencing power and control in their relationship leading to victimization. Businesses also receive restroom stickers with domestic violence hotline numbers and other informational resources that can be shared with their employees and patrons. Knowledge is power, and this program ensures that our community members can recognize the red flags of abuse and SPEAK UP to validate the victim’s experience and share resources that can be used when that person is ready. 

With October marking Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we make this call to action, that all city leaders join us in working to combat domestic violence by launching CORA’s SPEAK UP Program in their communities and across San Mateo County. One city working alone to address domestic violence can only do so much. True progress will be made when we work collectively to shine a spotlight on intimate partner abuse and educate our residents, small business employees, and community organization members that it is OK to SPEAK UP. We must make this a priority and recognize that when a community is informed it is better prepared to prevent tragic outcomes. 

In memory of Karina, we can and must do better. Together, we can all SPEAK UP.  

Adam Rak is the mayor of San Carlos and Sara McDowell is the former mayor and a current councilmember of San Carlos. The viewpoints contained in this perspective are our own, and do not represent the official position of the city of San Carlos or the City Council.