Going to the fair

First of all, as you enter, make a hard right. Do not enter the shopping zone. A few years ago, any east side entrant (which was most since the parking lot is on that side) was corralled into the hall with all the stuff like mattresses for sale and teeth whitening services. That’s no kind of way to start the fair and that practice was wisely dropped.

On your hard right, you might encounter some classic cars, some emergency vehicles or other things that hold your interest briefly and provide a slight immersion without a saturation. You can hear the fair but you are not quite in the fair. It’s kind of like the vestibule. At the end of it, you will see Capt’n Jack Spareribs. If you are 6 years old, you will love him. Any older, you may or may not, but it is actually quite impressive this guy has been able to make a living as this character. I kind of like him.

You can stay for the show, or just catch a bit of it then make haste toward the 4-H section where you can peruse a variety of farm animals. The heat level of the day will help indicate how long you can remain in the area (these are farm animals after all), but I recommend a quick up and down the aisles and perhaps you can even catch a judging. Those are fun.

From there, it’s best to fuel up at the food section. There are an assortment of delights and, depending on your proclivities, decide on your fare — with much of it deep-fried. Do not eat a corn dog though, that’s for later.

Next it’s a pig race, which is interesting just for the crowd reaction. There may be an acrobat show nearby, and that is good for some fun. If it seems windier than in times past, keep in mind the fair used to be in August, when it is not as windy as now.

You have to check out the carnival section with the rides and games and, even if you do not go on one ride, at least play one game. It adds up but it is an interesting exercise in recognizing that you will lose in a variety of ways and be separated from your money easily under the promise of obtaining a stuffed animal worth about $3 that you may or may not get — but most likely not get unless you spend $45.

The bumper cars are kind of fun though. It is here you can have a corn dog, with mustard. No ketchup unless you are under 10 or a former elected official.

At this point, you might be tired of walking around, worn down by the heat and noise and in need of a respite. It is now that you can check out the air-conditioned halls. There are garden displays, a variety of food on display like specialty cake and cookies and artwork made by your San Mateo County neighbors. Some of it is not bad. There is a butterfly petting zoo, a rain forest area and sculptures made from duct tape. I know the last one is neat, but not for me. A must-attend is the 4-H cafe that sells coffee and homemade baked goods for a reasonable cost, and by reasonable, I mean for what things should cost. And the offerings are tasty. You can munch on your purchase while you check out the kid’s art and perhaps even see a flying drone if you’re into that kind of thing. And you definitely should walk through the quilts if only to see what amazing creations our local populace can produce.

Here, you can check out the shopping area, and purchase a mattress if you like. After all, you may need it just to recover from your time at the San Mateo County Fair.

Jon Mays is the editor in chief of the Daily Journal. He can be reached at jon@smdailyjournal.com. Follow Jon on Twitter @jonmays.