WWMD?

WWMD?

At least, it is the question I ask since a rain forest trek lead by Mike, the ultimate in eco-guides.

Frankly, I never planned for a full-on environmental excursion. Certainly, I wanted to check out some greenery and definitely see the much-publicized postcard-perfect waterfall at the end of a key trail. These aspects I could do with little more than a map and a rental car. But in the quest for a nighttime kayak trip through a phosphorescent lagoon, a full-day excursion that included the rain forest was available.

I had a pretty clear idea this was more than a follow-the-leader hike when Mike held a termite on the end of his finger and asked if I wanted to eat it (protein, right?).

But really, there were signs before.

After signing pages of injury waivers and packing water bottles into canvas backpacks, we were offered sunscreen and bug spray to ward off hungry mosquitoes. There is a organic option there on the table; one that is good for the Earth, he said before pausing. There is also one with DEET for those of you who prefer chemicals.

Who wants to guess the right choice?

I smell like an air freshener, said one of two brothers on the trip who opted for natural while the other sneaked in a squirt from the Earth-hating bottle while Mike gave a lecture on packing out what we packed in to the park. The trash cans, it seems, were a bad idea because there was no telling when the rangers would have the chance to empty them. Other groups might not care but we don’t want to ruin what Mother Nature gave us, he said.

Likewise, always step to the right when other groups approach — they might not be well trained in courtesy, but we are, he said.

Then he picked up an abandoned sock laying off the trail and asked his fellow guide to shove a used diaper in his bag. We looked at baby frogs; he showed us how trees protect themselves from decay with resin. A puddle of water turned out to be an ecosystem and who knew stinging nettles were once used as a birth control method? Don’t ask.

I once felt like a treehugging, granola-chomping liberal if I used a cloth bag at the supermarket or pondered buying a Prius. Mike put me to shame — even after the termite. An hour in, there was more to the trip than surface level foliage, even as I wondered if DEET was really all that bad.

As we readied to turn the last corner to the waterfall, Mike pulled us together in a conspiratorial us-against-them huddle. I can’t tell you not to go into the fall but you might want to think about how the sunscreen and bugspray contaminates the water.

Man, said the brother, I wouldn’t even go into the waterfall now if I wanted to.

Agreed by all. Mike’s disapproval was somehow more intimidating than an anti-littering campaign.

So instead, we photographed, basked in our newfound eco-haughtiness and glared at the dozens of visitors already clogging the fall. They were obviously Earth-hating heathens who built bonfires on Spare the Air days and refused to carpool. They didn’t care about ecosystems and resin. They didn’t give two hoots about baby amphibians and colorful endangered parrots. In fact, they probably put on extra DEET before jumping in the water with their candy bar wrappers and beer bottles to splash about and scare whatever tiny creatures lurked below the surface.

Mike undoubtedly didn’t approve and as much as I had once wanted to frolic like a bikini-clad model in a beer commercial, neither did I. OK, maybe I still did but I certainly wouldn’t.

And maybe that’s the gist of asking what Mike would do — facing down plastic water bottles and scattered cigarettes, wishing for campfires and running the faucet while brushing teeth and deciding the most earth-friendly course.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not ready to buy carbon credits from airlines or wear biodegradable shoes.

But maybe with time WWMD will really ask What Would Michelle Do?

Michelle Durand’s column "Off the Beat” runs every Tuesday and Thursday. She can be reached by e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 102. What do you think of this column? Send a letter to the editor: letters@smdailyjournal.com.