Text book criminal

Unlike the cell phone headset rule, being spotted by law enforcement using a handheld device for non-verbal communication is a little more difficult — at least unless the driver has the device held up square in front of his or her face. And, if that is indeed the case, the clueless driver’s blind spot should prove a bigger distraction than any attempt at typing LOL, UR DUMB without running off the side of the freeway.

But texting is becoming so passé with the increased use of smart phones and other Web-enabled technology. Instead of text messaging lies about being on my way to dinner or catching up on the latest gossip before my arrival, there is e-mail. Not only does e-mail not require extra text-messaging fees, it isn’t limited to a phone. The sender or the receiver can be holding court at a computer where typing out a response doesn’t carry a citation and fine.

The same technology also allows the user to surf the Web, a key ingredient to maintaining one’s sanity while stuck in traffic. As somebody who spends a lot of time on the road — often stuck behind a Miata with too many bumper stickers or a minivan whose backseat DVD players offers a glimpse into the latest children’s flicks — my Blackberry is less a phone and more an Internet extension.

Why pay for The New York Times or Washington Post when it can be tapped into more easily via mobile device somewhere near the Broadway or Whipple Avenue exits? Why worry about a tasty new recipe for dinner when one will automatically pop up on my mobile Google home page?

Neither situation requires key strokes, just furtive glances down and to the right. The anti-texting law championed by state Sen. Joe Simitian, D-Palo Alto, was against writing, not reading, right?

The law is also not specifically anti-blackjack or Frogger, either, but since expert gamesmanship requires some swift finger action playing at 35 MPH seems to push the issue. Reading, however, is a completely different thing. If scanning headlines and catching up on the latest sport scores is banned, so should be a litany of other things currently allowed: Reading maps, applying mascara, fiddling with the radio, reaching behind the car seat for a CD or lipgloss.

Bottom line — my safety in the eyes of the law seemed secure.

Then I found out no, I was wrong. I am no different than any other text book criminal — all the excuses in the world won’t save me when a friendly neighborhood officer decides I am breaking the law by checking out the odd news stories on FoxNews.com.

After a little bit of online searching — at the safety of my desk, mind you, not in the stop-and-go crowd of Highway 101 — I learned that the list of banned actions include: sending e-mail, browsing the Web, texting while at a stop sign, texting while in a traffic jam, reading texts, reading e-mails, sending pre-written texts and e-mails. Pretty much the only thing left to do while driving is, well, drive.

Discovering this assumed loophole is actually closed makes me want to write a strongly worded letter. But until the law changes I better be certain not to e-mail it while behind the wheel.

Michelle Durand’s column "Off the Beat” runs every Tuesday and Thursday. She can be reached by

e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 102. What do you think of this

column? Send a letter to the editor: letters@smdailyjournal.com.