Essentially bored

That means any number of things as regards matters such as time, focus, purpose and Making Good Use of This Opportunity.

This has turned all of us into stay-at-home humans, and, most appallingly, it has eliminated all our excuses for not doing all those home projects we told ourselves we would do when we have time. It turns out, based on immediate past performance, the main thing I’ve really been meaning to do, but was too busy, is to watch TV reruns.

That’s not entirely true, of course. I’ve decided to use this opportunity to engage in an old-fashioned way. Everyone likes to get personal mail. So I’ve been writing a letter every day. I’m up to K.

The reality is that I shouldn’t be left alone with my imagination, which takes on the usefulness and tempo of running in place.

If this was mid-July and I was still in the sixth grade, I would announce, “I’m bored,” and Mom would tell me to read a book or go outside and play or stop bothering her. Bothering Mom was something for which I always had a talent and it would prove a useful life skill in my career as, ahem, a journalist.

I am assured by an unnamed county official that writing this column is an essential function, which should be cause for widespread amusement of the non-self kind. That excuses my decision on Sunday to hop in the Gray Ghost and drift down Highway 1, just to take a look-see, in the interests of, ahem, journalism.

It was pretty astonishing. Every beach parking lot was packed. I got out at Dunes beach and stood on the bluff — a health-sanctioned 6 feet from anyone — and saw people up and down the beach. They seemed to be keeping their distance from each other, except in what appeared to be family clusters. But it did cause me to wonder what it would have looked like on a good, warm spring day. As I was heading east over State Route 92, a steady stream of cars was headed the other way, vehicles apparently full of people who think ocean air is an antidote to a virus that is rapidly killing more people.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one to observe this and to wonder if we are taking this as seriously as we should. There is still a tendency to think this is temporary — a break from the usual to and fro — and that things will be back to normal in a few more days or a couple of weeks.

All of which prompted an extraordinary message from the heretofore virtually unknown Dr. Scott Morrow, the county’s chief health officer, who brings a level of rhetoric to his job not seen in most of the briefings that are a part of our everyday flow of information.

Here’s the main part of what he said: “As I write this, I am both immensely grateful and exceedingly disappointed. We are in a grave crisis. I believe the virus is growing at an exponential rate in our county. Unless everyone does their part and follows the County’s Shelter-in-Place order and the Governor’s Safe at Home order, we will be facing an Italy-type catastrophe very soon. … If you decide you want to do your own thing and follow your own rules, you disrespect us all. You spit in our face, and you will contribute to the death toll that will follow.”

No face-spitting. Check.

Or, to put it another way, yikes.

So, we stay inside, lest we incur wrath. We are grateful for social media, finally, and all the things going on. The contests, the lists, the clips and cartoons.

Leaping into the breach, I proffer my proposal to keep you amused, based on a suggestion by my friend Jay Reset. Here are three categories. Send me your lists and I’ll put them in the next column. 1). Job you should have been fired from; 2) Movie lines befitting the time; and 3). Best teacher you had.

I’ll also post them on Facebook if you friend me. I need all the friends I can get — at a distance, of course.

Mark Simon can be reached at marksimon@smdailyjournal.com.