The day of foolish things

The search for weapons of mass destruction seems to be one big ruse. We invaded Iraq under that pretense last March, we lost hundreds of American soldiers, and we continue to argue about whether we should have been there in the first place. Not a real good time for the "oops, just kidding" moments that continue to leak out of the Bush Administration regarding the rumored weapons.

For that matter, it would be great to wake up on Friday and see that the discord in the Middle East was nothing more than a minor skirmish but that issue is so tumultuous it would take a year of April Fool's Days.

The BART extension into Millbrae - what is that? Billions of dollars to build a mammoth station that nobody actually visits. The topper is now the lawsuit between BART and Samtrans over the lack of riders and construction costs. Somebody in charge must have been watching "Field of Dreams" one too many times. While the idea of a public transportation system encircling the Bay sounds good in theory, it is fruitless unless people want to use it. It is even more fruitless - and foolish - to tie up taxpayer dollars haggling over who is at fault rather than taking proactive steps to remedy the situation. Let's hope at the very least that the recent decision to waive parking fees at three stations is not BART's idea of a practical joke.

Nearly the entire pool of topics clogging the entertainment pool right now should be waved away: Bennifer, Gigli, the Martha Stewart trial, the awful hair sported by Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump, the ongoing legacy of Nipplegate, Tonya Harding becoming an amateur boxer and the so-called miracles caused by "The Passion of the Christ." Please tell me that these are only figments of my imagination.

Or, how 'bout potato chips and condiments that taste like other things? There are now steak, ketchup and guacamole flavored chips. There is also green ketchup (no word yet on green ketchup flavored potato chips). There are chocolate candies that look like potato chips (definitely no word about green ketchup flavored potato chips that are actually chocolate). Food is hard enough right now with the transfat, the fois gras and the carbs. In fact, most of the things in our food aren't quite real. The food itself should not try to trick us further.

And let us not forget gas prices - that has to be the epitome of something we all wish was a joke. San Bruno appears to have the highest fuel at $2.69 a gallon although other prices throughout the county don't fall far behind. For that price, I can almost get a mocha at Starbucks which raises its own question: is it worse to pay more for coffee than I do for the ability to drive to the coffee house? I wonder how much coffee-flavored potato chips might cost ....

Michelle Durand's column runs every Monday and Thursday. She can be reached by e-mail: michelle@smdailyjournal.com or by phone: (650) 344-5200 ext. 104.