Loneliness as a community issue

U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy made headlines in May when he called attention to both loneliness, isolation and lack of connection in our society. Strengthening those connections, enacting pro-connection public policies, mobilizing the public health sector, reforming digital environments, deepening knowledge and cultivating a culture of connection are six foundational pillars published in Murthy’s advisory.

As a society, we were heading toward more isolation in the last decade, but the pandemic exacerbated it and we have come nowhere near close to recovering. If you want to take a look at its impact on public policy, consider how the way people interact online has filtered into real life. There is a discernible lack of decorum at times at every level, and even our elected officials have fallen victim to policy stances and positions that are geared toward social media attention rather than the public good. And public interactions between elected officials suffer.

The way everyday people communicate has also been affected. The pandemic made it worse as we sheltered in our homes fearful of interaction and sought connection through our screens. This is when a whole generation of youth became addicted, and when certain people became radicalized. And it has not unravelled. Far from it.

Outside of this, the way we connect is shifting. Generally speaking, parents establish a community with their children’s schools and activities are attached to that whether it be through volunteering, sports or just chatting with others during drop-off and pickup. When the kids go off the college, that network can disintegrate.

In years past, service organizations like Rotary or the Elks Lodge would be a way for people to maintain community connections through service. But membership is on the decline and is typically older than in years past.

Religion would also provide that community, but membership in churches and temples is also on the decline. Politics often fill the void.

When kids go off to college, there is a big gap in people’s lives and fewer choices on how to fill it. The easy way is to go online, but political discussions there can lead to frustration and silo thinking on all sides. Often, small matters become large, and fights with others can turn into entrenched and calcified ways of thinking. Newcomers can be seen as a threat, or old-timers can be seen as the enemy. And, overall, our community suffers.

So how do we, as a community, find ways for people to stay connected and is this even the duty of our government to look into this? One simple way is through programming and activities in person, and yes, it is the duty of our government to take this on. This isolation has caused suffering amongst our population, and it has affected our collective ability to hold ordinary discourse.

I’ll give an example. During the discussion of how to redevelop Bay Meadows, there were divergent points of view. Neighbors were wary, builders wanted in, housing advocates wanted new units near transit, city officials sought revenue with the housing. Through several years, the Citizens Advisory Committee for the San Mateo Rail Corridor Transit-Oriented Development Plan discussed the ins and outs of the marquee development and, having observed it up close, I saw people on opposite sides treat one another with mutual respect and an understanding of process. At the end of the committee’s assignment, I saw friendships formed amongst those with opposite points of view. Now, I’m not suggesting we immerse our population in months of land use discussion as a way to solve loneliness, but I am suggesting we can do things together for the betterment of our community and, in doing so, we can become friends. What that will look like and how it can be accomplished is up for discussion. It has very real ramifications in nearly every part of our lives here in San Mateo County.

The Peninsula Family Service is holding a discussion as part of its Thought Leader Series on “Overcoming the Epidemic of Loneliness: A Community Challenge” next week at the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative Community Space in Redwood City. Seating is limited, but here is a link for registration: https://rb.gy/wf1oit. A panel of experts will discuss the challenges and possible solutions. This seems like a very good first step and I look forward to seeing more concrete plans with talk becoming action.

Jon Mays is the editor-in-chief of the Daily Journal. He can be reached at jon@smdailyjournal.com. Follow Jon on X @jonmays.