Can you really just ‘Let Them?’

The book’s description on Amazon poses an enticing question: “What if the key to happiness, success and love was as simple as two words?”

While Robbins’ advice may be well-intentioned and thoughtful, the idea that a perfect life can come instantly if people think the right way doesn’t sit right with me. Robbins takes a sentiment that can be entirely summed up by a five-line poem (originally written by poet Cassie B. Phillips, whom Robbins barely credits) and stretches it into a full-length book by forcing “let them” onto situations where it doesn’t quite fit.

Robbins eventually encourages personal reflection and growth, like moving from “let them” to “let me.” But it’s hard not to feel misled by how far she’s wandered away from the two-word catchy premise at that point. 

The real trouble with the “let them” theory is that it falls apart once you go beyond minor annoyances like being stuck in traffic or waiting in a long line. Most situations in life (especially the challenging ones) require specific, thoughtful and nuanced responses. You don’t “let them” when a friend repeatedly disrespects your boundaries. You don’t “let them” when your workplace is unhealthy. You don’t “let them” when your rights are being stripped away. Robbins wants to sell a universal balm, but people need a toolbox of different strategies to cope with life.

This is not just a Mel Robbins problem. It’s a self-help industry problem, and even more, it’s a social media problem. The nature of social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram and YouTube favors snappy two-word phrases, catchy acronyms and aesthetic daily mantras: “Let them,” “Clean girl” or “Minding my peace.” 

These phrases are digestible, and they can often be comforting. But we should be wary of allowing the internet to feed us an endless stream of digestible self-help content over content that encourages genuine reflection.

A good self-help strategy can offer useful language to reframe a situation, but it can’t do the emotional heavy lifting for you. The truth is that difficult situations like grief, heartbreak, burnout or systemic injustice won’t always work well with one-size-fits-all advice.

Every situation is unique, and what works for me probably won’t work for you. 

Take politics. One might reasonably expect that even Robbins would carve out an exception here, after all, politics isn’t just about individual emotions and perceptions; it’s about collective action, justice and issues with extremely high impact. But instead of admitting “let them” isn’t a perfect fit, Robbins doubles down in her book, arguing that political polarization would be solved if both parties would just “let them” believe what they believe. The problem with Robbins’ suggestion is that not all beliefs are harmless. Some cause real harm and require us to act rather than passively accept our circumstances. 

Ultimately, I think using self-help tools like “let them” is fine, but it’s important to remember they are just tools. Don’t buy into the myth that a single phrase can entirely change your life and heal you of every problem. We should be cautious of how social media amplifies shallow ideas as ultimate truths.

Some might read this and respond, “Let people enjoy things. Why are you so mad? Just let them.” That’s fair enough, but part of being engaged with the world is choosing where and when to care. I care about how social media dilutes real self-awareness into clickbait catchphrases. I care about how people online monetize borrowed ideas and sell them as enlightenment. So no, I won’t “let them.” I pick this battle. That’s who I am; you might disagree, and I urge you to choose that battle if you do, not just to “let me.”

Josie Belfer is a senior at Nueva School in San Mateo. Student News appears in the weekend edition. You can email Student News at news@smdailyjournal.com.