Patricia Frances (Perata) O’Brien

A loving wife, best pal, a tough submariner’s wife, traveling companion, copilot and navigator. A wonderful mother to Ellen and Bill and doting grandmother to Kayley and Michael and a loving sibling of Steve, Kathy and the late Michael.

We will miss her.

The daughter of Nicholas A. Perata (Pacific Ave, Alameda) and Geraldine Frances (Barr – “the Bar Girls”) Perata (London St., San Francisco) was born August 4, 1948 at St. Mary’s Hospital in San Francisco.

Starting in San Francisco, moving to Broadmoor, the young family eventually settled in Redwood City in the 1950’s. With her siblings, the late Michael, Steven and Kathy, she attended Roosevelt Elementary School and graduated from Sequoia High School in 1966. Their one block of Hastings Ave. was filled with young families, many playmates, fond memories and long friendships. Pati enjoyed competitive ballroom dancing, playing the trumpet and tennis and hanging with her friends.

The summer of 1966 at the College of San Mateo was very formative. Meeting a new group of wonderful friends, the “TOBBAM” Family, and taking over the cafeteria’s mezzanine. The “family” enjoyed French dipped sandwiches, speed runs to A&W for lunch, learning to drive Mike’s 49 Jeep, and Sierra Club outings. Later, children Ellen and Bill were named after dear TOBBAM Family friends Ellen (Bodamer) Absher and Bill Bernhardt.

Pati and Mike met in English class that summer of 1966. While frolicking before English class Pati fell out of her chair and Mike picked her up. Pati continued her CSM nursing studies while Mike enlisted in the Navy.

Pati became a first-rate Jeep driver. The pair enjoyed many outings with the San Francisco Jeepers. The older members were the chaperones on the overnight Jeep runs. Pati would receive ovations while successfully negotiating obstacles that others could not. Much later she drove Bill’s Jeep on a Sierra Trek rocky hill climb. Bill embarrassingly hid in the crowd. Pati successfully maneuvered the climb, where many had failed, to thunderous applause from the onlookers. Bill jumped out from hiding shouting “that’s my mom”!

Mike proposed to Pati on the beach at Pescadero. They were married April 12, 1969 at St. Pius Catholic Church in Redwood City. They honeymooned at the beautiful, bayside, resort city of Vallejo while Mike completed his Navy school at Mare Island. Pati & Mikeset up “home” in their first apartment in Idaho Falls, Idaho shortly after. Pati arranged the kitchen. Then Mike rearranged the kitchen. Mike learned to stay out of the kitchen!

Pati was surrounded by a new group of friends, young sailors and their wives. Many of these folks Pati knew from Mare Island. Our fondest memories were our trips to Casper, Wyoming. School break was five days off every month. Steve Hamilton would take us to spend the time with his Mom and Grandmother. A wonderful family. Then there was the doe that Mike brought home after a day of hunting (first and only time!). Pati, not wanting her kitchen ware contaminated,went out and purchased separate cook and service ware for the venison.

The Navy calls and Pati dutifully followed. Next stop New London / Groton, Connecticut. Pati was pregnant. Dreams come true (rare with military “dream sheets”). Mike was assigned to a “Boomer” crew just off patrol. Mike would be home when the baby would be born. The excitement lasted only a few weeks. Mike was reassigned to the USS Robert E. Lee and gone a few days later. Pati was stranded, pregnant, not feeling well, the group of friends from the past year now scattered and she was not yet assimilated into the new boat’s wives’ group. With the help of the base Chaplin she came home to Redwood City.

Mike has always described Pati as “tough”. Any military wife following their husband in the service is “tough”. Pati gave birth to Ellen-Marie on July 1, 1970. Mike received a an extra, a 5th “Family Gram” from the Captain, on July 4 announcing Ellen-Marie’s birth. Pati pushed the doctor to induce the birth so she could fly back to Connecticut to be on hand when Mike returned from sea.

The new family of three settled in. New friends and long drives through the beautiful New England countryside filled our time. We were so rich (that is in love) that we would drive to Norwich along the west bank of the Thames River. The beautiful drive ended at the head of a “T” intersection at a Dunkin Donuts. We would share a donut and hot chocolate.

Pati survived the lonely patrol schedule by hanging out with the other young wives and their small children. She also played softball on the wives’ league.

Pati, once again, dutifully followed to Bremerton, Washington where William Nicolas (Bill) was born on May 4, 1972. Bill decided to stick his arm out first and wave to everyone in the delivery room. Overhaul work schedules and family time are not conducive evolutions. Again, the other wives and children and softball kept her busy.

Back to New London / Groton Connecticut to finish out Mike’s service time. The Boat was in New London for a brief period while transiting, The CO trying to get Mike to re-enlist invited Pati down for dinner and a tour. The shipmates were lined up, as if loading stores, passing two little ones down the ladders.

Mike had a year left in the Navy and Pati had come home for a wedding. She bought a house. Best thing she ever did!!! Pati, Mike, Ellen & Bill settled in on Altamont Way in South San Francisco – Thanksgiving 1973. Their new home was around the corner from Mike’s parents. A nice home with great neighbors.

It had snowed in the hills above Redwood City. Pati took the kids and the family station wagon and filled the back with snow. They built a snowman on the Altamont front lawn.

Pati was always doing something. She had started digging up the front lawn. All the neighbors set up their lawn chairs across the street waiting for Mike’s reaction when he arrived home after work. Mike joined Pati digging up the lawn.

August 1976 saw the move to Redwood City, now around the corner from Pati’s parents. Medford Ave, one block long, 16 homes, everyone knows everyone with wonderfully awesome neighbors. Pati enrolled the second generation at Roosevelt Elementary. Pati always had plans for the house and yard. We enjoyed working on those plans together.

The parish and great parishioners at Saint Matthias Catholic Church in Redwood City were a large part of Pati’s life. Teaching catechism, running the youth group, singing in the choir were just a few of the things Pati had jumped into at church.

Pati didn’t sit around. Pati helped a neighbor, Julie Schauer, run a Girl Scout troop. We had pallets of Girl Scout cookies in our garage on two or three occasions. We enjoyed many family outings with Julie and the girls. She also managed the “Candy Stripers” at Sequoia Hospital for several years. She taught GED at the Redwood City Library. Pati was also the bookkeeper for our family auto parts business Specialty Jeeparts.

Somewhere in here step 1 of the bucket list (that a former financial advisor said we wouldn’t achieve) came to fruition. Pati found a commercial site for sale and we purchased it.

When Ellen and Bill were old enough Pati began her return to educations and Mike became the homemaker. She majored in PE at Canada College, receiving her AA degree in 1983. She taught PE at Mount Carmel Grammar School in Redwood City.

Pati continued her studies in business and finance at the College of Notre Dame in Belmont. She participated in Rotaract and sang in the choir. She received her BS in 1987 and her MBA in 1989. Pati & Ellen spent the 1987 summer studying finance in Europe with a University of Kansas program.

Pati began a very successful career in banking with Eureka Bank, Bay View Bank, US Bank, Fremont Bank and retired from Liberty Bank. She garnered many awards and much respect during her career. Retirement came early when son, Bill, asked if she would like to watch her new granddaughter Kayley. Her decision came faster than the speed of light!

Then again, somewhere is here, step 2 of the bucket list was checked off when a vacation spot on the bank of the American River at Kyburz on Hwy 50 was purchased. Many hours were spent statically and dynamically testing the hammock as the river rolled by.

Pati eagerly began her grandmother duties with Kayley in January 2007 and with Michael Francis in June 2008. This era brought her so much fun, joy and love. This was the third generation at Roosevelt Elementary School and the second at Woodside High School.

Pati took up the roll of substitute teacher. Her log-on was “not smarter than a third grader”. She would jump at the opportunity to watch over TK, Kindergarten, 1st and 2nd graders. Third graders would require some deeper thought. Mike would receive calls at work – “what is the answer to this math problem?” Seeing the youngsters around the neighborhood they would call her “Teacher Pati”.

With the sale of the family parts store in the past, Pati & Mike began to travel. The short vacation RV trips, north & south gradually moving east. Baseball spring training in Scottsdale was always a favorite. Then the bucket list came to completion with our trip to Ireland. Several multi-month road trips took us to Alaska and many points in the lower 48. The Atlanta summer and Salt Lake City winter Olympics were very special with great memories.A trip to visit relatives in Switzerland was in the planning as well as to the southeast US. Sadly those never happened. Pati enjoyed participating in the Junior Ranger programs at the National Parks. Mike has lost track of the badges pinned on but remembers paying the bill for having 68 patches sewn on “Teacher Pati’s” new and larger 3x vest. Biannual trips to USS Robert E. Lee reunions were multi- week vacations. Pati and the other wives experienced their own special bonds. These reunions are always special gatherings.

We felt that our time together in the Navy was relatively easy. Pati was already retired. Mike retired on a Friday in February 2013 and the following Monday both stepped into rewarding volunteer positions at the Palo Alto VA Hospital. Pati was there six years when her Dementia began to accelerate. This experience was rewarding; meeting new friends, helping vets and becoming acquaintances of the regulars.

Happy birthday Pati, here is your new home – Silverado Belmont Hills memory care. July 31 2019, 5 days before her 71st birthday.

Helen (#2) O’Brien wishes to thank Pati for giving her the loving son she married and wishes she had known Pati longer.

Pati is predeceased by her parents Nick and Gerri Perata and her older brother Mike (Diane) Perata. She is terribly missed by her immediate family: husband of 57 years, Mike O’Brien; daughter Ellen-Marie (Jack) Viegas; son Bill (Helen) O’Brien; granddaughter Kayley Gabis O’Brien and grandson Michael Frances Gabis O’Brien. Pati loved and enjoyed her siblings: younger brother Steve (Marianne) Perata; and Kathy (Ken) Saltenberger; and her nieces and nephews: Chris Perata and Danielle Perata, Kyle (Allison) Perata and Kerrie Perata; Steven (Lesley) Saltenberger, Sallie (David) Fear and Bradley Saltenberger.

The family wishes to thank the staff at Silverado Belmont Hills Memory Care. From that stay came the “Silverado Family”. A tight-knit group of spouses supporting each other through this trek and its losses. Most importantly is the Family at Gordon Manor. This Family has taken care of Pati’s mother-in-law, friends and neighbors. They are a wonderfully awesome group of dedicated caregivers. It really is, truly, a Family. Thank you so very much for taking care of Pati. We love you folks! (They are anxious to be free of a “Felix the Cat” slot machine!)

A Mass and Celebration of Life will take place on Saturday May 23. The Mass will be held at St. Matthias Catholic Church, at 10:00 a.m., 1685 Cordilleras Road, Redwood City. A Celebration of Life to follow at the Elks Lodge, 938 Wilmington Way, Redwood City.

Pati’s family has experienced your outpouring of love and support. We feel so very blessed. Thank You!

Should you wish, a donation to the Alzheimer’s Association at alz.org would be appreciated.