An unconventional path to motherhood

“Mother’s Day for kids in foster care can be a confusing and sometimes painful time,” Giese said. “It’s more about what our kids wanted to do. We let them take the lead.”

And sometimes, she was surprised. A handwritten card would appear on her nightstand, or she’d receive an unexpected hug and compliment. 

Such moments are reflective of what it feels like to be a foster mom every day, she said — touching moments intertwined with the feeling of not knowing how long kids would be in their home or whether they’d be able to continue staying in contact with them once they left. 

“One of the biggest challenges is learning to accept or be comfortable knowing that a lot is outside of our control,” Giese said.

The Half Moon Bay resident knew from an early age she wanted to be a foster mom, and she was relieved when her now-husband, who she met in college, said he was on board. She knew there would be challenges and trying circumstances, but it still took awhile to adjust to the unpredictability of court case decisions, visitation schedules and their effects on children. And abrupt goodbyes were some of the hardest. 

“There were definitely tears,” she said. 

But Giese and her husband have been lucky in many ways. After seven years of being foster parents, they still keep in touch with some of the children previously in their care, including a now-23-year-old, which is not always the case for others. And having a network of other foster parents has proved to be an indispensable support system. 

The couple has taken in youth of all ages, from babies to teenagers, and they adopted their 3-year-old daughter last year after she spent time in their home as a foster child and needed a permanent home. And the adoption of their 1-year-old will be finalized in the coming weeks as well. 

Going from a foster to permanent parent role all transpired in a short period of time, especially as the timing also coincided with the birth of their son last year. 

“We went from having zero kids to three kids very quickly,” she said. 

Foster parenting is hard, she acknowledges, and it’s not uncommon to get comments from others about how they could “never do something like that.”

“I hear that a lot, and my response is often, ‘If we don’t do it, who will?’ These are the children who are living right here in our own community, and they need our help,” she said.

But to Jennifer, it’s still the most rewarding experience one can have, not just for the sake of children but for families. After all, barring extreme cases, the end goal for foster care is to reunify families, and foster parenting helps entire communities, including parents who need additional time and support. 

And while she’ll be proudly celebrating Mother’s Day as a mom of three this year, she is still committed to being the best foster mom possible. 

“It is the hardest thing we’ve ever done in our entire lives, but it’s also the most meaningful,” she said. “If you’re good with doing hard things, and you’re looking to add meaning to yours and other people’s lives, this is pretty much as good as it gets.”