‘Batman v Superman’ is ‘chin-sanity’

Superman? We first met this version of the Steely man, three years ago. Henry Chinvill continues to play him as an angsty, alienated tragic hero, apparently tackling the role going the Nietzschean interpretative route, circa 1883. This Superman is bit less brawn and a lot more emo.

And lest we leave out the non-clefts, we have chin three. While not cut twain, it’s quite pronounced nevertheless. Meet Lex Luthor, played by Jesse Eisenchin (“The Social Network”). The supervillain is often the thespian focal point in superhero movies, and Eisenchin tries too hard to meet the antagonist high bar set by such notables as Ian McKellen, Tom Hiddleston, Heath Ledger, Alfred Molina, Terence Stamp and Gene Hackman (Geek points to those of you who can name the villains). He is the worst part of this movie, method-screeching his way through the role. I call reboot.

In the gorgeous, perfectly proportionate chin department, Diana Prince or Wonder Woman (Israeli supermodel Gal Gadot) makes her cinematic debut. Hers is the best character in “BvS: DoJ,” but her performance is leadened by a heavy accent which makes some of her lines indiscernible. But this is the amazingly progressive Hollywood big studio we’re talking about — she’s hot. Who cares what she’s saying?

Another scene stealer is an old school, Oscar-winning chin, Jeremy Irons, who plays Batman’s butler and personal Siri, Alfred Pennyworth. If he sticks around for future installments, he may wrestle the Best Alfred title from Michael Caine, if there were such a thing, although how can there not be considering how swiftly movie properties get rebooted these days.

(Speaking of a Oscars and chins, I think I’ve given Chris Rock some good material for more Asian jokes at next year’s Academy Awards).

There are other super chins coming soon, too, as hinted throughout the movie. There’s a really, really fast chin. There’s a half-robot chin. There’s even an underwater chin.

These hints of chins (chints?) and other future comic book matters come often during the 153-minute running time. There are Easter Eggs (Google “Easter egg movie” if you don’t know the concept) everywhere about the so-called “Dawn of Justice” (as in the Justice League), an Avengers-like collection of superheroes who gather together to fight for truth, justice and the almighty risk-mitigating business model of blockbuster films with interconnected cinematic worlds and promotional tie-ins.

In fact, the sluggish first half of the movie is nothing but director Zack Snyder (“300”) playing cinematic Easter Bunny, which coincidentally may explain why it opens this holiday weekend.

The second half has some decent moments. Snyder maintains the consistency of his oeuvre — brilliant visuals wrapped around a core that is somewhere on the spectrum of stale to expired. He doesn’t get much out of his actors either. You’ve heard of an “actor’s director?” Snyder is a “visual’s director.” Hence, the movie looks and feels fantastic to the senses, but not much more.

And despite what nominally feels like a traditional film that has a beginning, a middle and an end, it feels too much like a setup for more movies. This new corporate movie-making style portends a frightening and absurd entertainment future, where there will no longer be movies any more. Movies will be become merely previews and commercials for movies to come, which in turn will only be previews and commercials for more movies to come, and so on and on and on, ad infinitum, ad nauseum, ad chinseum.