2nd annual Connie's 5K raises over $30,000

Gomez’s cousin, Faviola Gonzalez, came up with the idea to organize a 5K run in her honor, with proceeds donated to Community Overcoming Relationship Abuse, a San Mateo County nonprofit helping those affected by intimate partner abuse.

If Gomez had known about CORA’s services, she might have been able to reach out before the point of violent escalation, her sister Denise López said — which is a major inspiration for the family’s current advocacy efforts.

“After learning so much about them and what they do, I do kind of wish [she] knew to seek help, whether it be from a legal stance — she was going through a divorce, she would have probably reached out to them,” she said. “She could have probably left the home in a more safe way.”

Inspired by her own positive experience with exercise as a healing tool, Gonzalez worked with López and the team at CORA to organize the first Connie’s 5K last year, mostly with family and friends. The name of the event is an ode to Gomez’s nickname, she often went by Connie or Conchita, which is ladybug in Spanish.

The second annual 5K generated an even broader crowd, hosting more than 270 runners and walkers and raising more than $30,000. In total, the family has now raised more than $50,000 for CORA’s services and has plans to hold the event each year. 

“I was on a run one day and I thought, ‘This is a great way to go out and feel a little peace for a moment. This would be a good experience to do as a community,” Gonzalez said. “If we couldn’t help her, at least we can help somebody else in her name.”

The second annual Connie’s 5K generated broad community interest and an opportunity to honor her life by helping others in similar situations, López said.

“It’s kind of indescribable,” she said. “I knew the reasons why we were there, I knew why we were gathered — to honor not only my sister, but to help the cause and other families that may be going through the same thing.”

CORA is the only nonprofit in San Mateo County solely dedicated to domestic violence survivors. It offers emergency housing legal support, mental health services for adults and children and a prevention team working in the community to help individuals identify red flags of domestic violence. Money raised during the 5K will go to the full breadth of services CORA offers in San Mateo County, CEO Karen Ferguson said. 

“Funding like this allows us to make sure we have all of the staff for hotline services, for legal services, for mental health services. I think that one of the things we see is that, for example, there’s a drastic difference in people following through with being able to obtain a restraining order if they have actual legal representation,” she said. “Our services are always stretched, but we are free and confidential.”

Its 24-hour hotline can be reached at (800) 300-1080 for anyone in need of support. Individuals in relationships should also be aware of the four main domestic violence red flags: controlling behavior, victim blaming, isolation and excessive jealousy. For those who are concerned a loved one is experiencing intimate partner violence, Ferguson recommends avoiding asking why they haven’t left yet. 

“If we say ‘why don’t you leave,’ it immediately closes off the conversation, because the person feels judged,” she said. “The second reason that we don’t say ‘why don’t you leave’ [is] because leaving can become the most dangerous time in a relationship, when that controlling partner fears losing the other person.”

Instead, she recommends keeping an open line of conversation while believing and supporting the victim and connecting them to resources, like CORA, that can help them assess the situation and develop a plan.

Gomez would have loved the event, Gonzalez said — she was also one of the first to donate when Gonzalez organized a small 5k to help Latino families in need of food.

“She was one of the first to donate to this cause, and I knew immediately that she would absolutely love for us to do something like this in her honor,” Gonzalez said.

The event, which has become a way to keep Gomez’s memory alive, is also a way for the family to stay connected to her.

“We expect to do this every year. It’s part of my therapy part of my healing. I get to honor her, I get to speak about her and I get to keep her alive this way. I feel that she is present,” López said. “We’re so passionate about it. We hope to make it grow.”

López encouraged survivors of domestic violence to remember they aren’t alone. By speaking about the topic, young people can understand healthy relationship behavior, know the warning signs and be aware of the resources around them.

“We knew these discussions should happen at an earlier stage,” Gonzalez said. “By introducing kids to a charity event and have these conversations as a family, it became something positive.”