To San Mateo: Let’s be better

But something was different. Things aren’t quite the same as they were before. Some of us changed. 

There are a number of theories why, but I think many of us became a bit anti-social and feral, to be honest. As we shut ourselves into our homes, we moved into living online, which was a salve for our psyche but also radicalized many. Constant feeds, echo chambers, fighting, name calling, and seeking likes and comments and retweets changed the very way we discuss things. Negative proclivities became conventions. That has spilled over into our real lives. Decorum and civility are no longer paramount, and nastiness, distrust and insular thinking is sometimes taking its place. 

Part of this was in play during the recent conflict over naming the fifth councilmember in San Mateo. This is not a column to assign blame or to say we should simply move on from what happened. We can’t simply move on. But our approach to solving conflict must change, and it must be done immediately. 

Never have I seen such dysfunction, distrust and disrespect in a public setting. If it wasn’t our job to cover the news of San Mateo, I would walk away in disgust. Every hour of the recent council meeting discussions was a house of horrors. The only promising moment I could find was when newly named Councilmember Rich Hedges said, “We are going to heal this stuff.”

I implore you, the people who engaged in this fight from every side, to please proceed in a more civilized way. There is no world in which trying to vanquish your “enemies” by fighting this way with your neighbors creates positive results, and I have a very real fear there will be escalation into something from which we may not be able to recover. This needs to end. 

There are more than 100,000 people in the city of San Mateo and they deserve better from the elected leadership and their supporters who are engaging in this fight. Everyone thinks they are right, but how can that be? Perhaps everyone is a little right and a little wrong at the same time. I can understand the zeal of those engaged and can see that it is rooted in a deep passion for the city or their beliefs. Everyone involved has this passion. This is a commonality. Let’s build on that.

There is much for us to do and different perspectives on how to get there. It is essential we find common ground, then work from there. San Mateo has many positive attributes, and it’s not just its natural setting. It took work to create what makes San Mateo what it is today. One example among many: The one thing on which all can agree is that the Japanese Garden in Central Park is a gem. Its beauty inspires and delights generations. It didn’t just build itself one day. It took vision, collaboration, planning, work and now maintenance. 

Great things can happen if we decide to work together. The council is what it is. The policies or practices of everyone now on the council may differ but they have earned the right to be there, and need to work together.

The last three years has been a very challenging time for everyone. This past year and its two election cycles have also been challenging for those engaged in the political scene. These past two weeks are a culmination of many things, but the way the city’s business has been conducted and how people have been treated needs to end right now if we want San Mateo to remain a good city in which to live. People say this is a fight over the future of the city, but what about today? Is this the type of city we want to live in today? I don’t. This isn’t a joke T-shirt. This is my city. I deserve better, and so do my friends and family, neighbors, co-workers, colleagues, acquaintances, readers and each and every member of the San Mateo community. We all deserve better. Let’s be better together.

Jon Mays is the editor in chief of the Daily Journal. He can be reached at jon@smdailyjournal.com. Follow Jon on Twitter @jonmays.