The Pros and Cons of Different Styles of Funerals

In navigating the emotional journey of funeral planning, Susan Fraser, Founder of In The Light Urns and co-author of "Celebrating Life: How to Create Meaningful Memorial Services, with Templates and Tips," lends her expertise. With over two decades in the death care industry, Fraser's insights anchor the considerations surrounding these funeral styles.

Funerals are a time-honored tradition to commemorate the life of a loved one. The process, while daunting, is crucial for many reasons. This article delves into four different styles of funerals: traditional funerals, memorial services, direct cremations, and celebrations of life.

We also touch upon the emerging trend of virtual funerals, which has gained traction in recent years.

Traditional Funeral

A traditional funeral is a formal event usually comprising a religious service, eulogy, and viewing or visitation. It can occur in various venues like a church or a home, and an open casket for viewing is optional.

A procession follows the service, leading to a more intimate cemetery gathering before the body's interment.

Pro: Traditional funerals offer a structured and formal way to say goodbye, providing closure for family and friends.

Pro: They provide a communal space for mourners to gather and support one another.

Con: The cost of traditional funerals can be high, encompassing the casket, funeral home services, and other expenses. The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) estimates the median cost for a funeral with viewing and burial at $ $7,848 in 2021.

Con: The formal setting may be emotionally overwhelming for some attendees.

Memorial Service

A memorial service, similar to a traditional funeral, focuses on celebrating the deceased's life without a casket or viewing. This event can feature personal stories, music, and other significant gestures and can take place in various venues.

Pro: Memorial services permit a more personalized and creative expression of grief.

Pro: They are typically less expensive than traditional funerals and offer flexibility in location and timing.

Con: Some attendees may feel a lack of closure, missing the physicality of a traditional funeral.

Con: Religious individuals may prefer the formality of a traditional service.

Direct Cremation

Direct cremation involves cremating the body without a prior service, often followed by a memorial or celebration of life. The cremated remains can be returned to the family or scattered in a meaningful location.

According to CANA, Cremation Association of North America, the cremation rate surpassed 57.7% for the first time in 2016, and has been on the rise since, with many choosing custom-made cremation urns.

Pro: Direct cremation offers an affordable and more straightforward option for those eschewing a traditional funeral.

Pro: It offers flexibility in terms of timing and location.

Con: Some mourners may feel a lack of closure.

Con: Religious individuals may prefer the formality of a traditional service.

Celebration of Life

A celebration of life is a less formal event focusing on the deceased's life and achievements rather than mourning their death. It often occurs after the body has been laid to rest, featuring activities that reflect the deceased's personality and interests.

Pro: Celebrations of life allow attendees to remember and celebrate life after the initial shock and grief of losing a loved one.

Pro: They focus more on the life of the person and less on their death.

Con: Some attendees may find it too informal.

Con: Others might feel it lacks the closure that a traditional funeral can provide.

Virtual Funeral

Virtual funerals offer a digital space for family and friends to celebrate and memorialize their loved ones collectively. This method transforms the experience into an online event where participants can engage via their devices, activating a live video stream from any location.

Pro: It provides accessibility and convenience, especially for those who may not be able to attend in person.

Pro: Expands the reach to include distant relatives and friends.

Con: Potential technical issues could disrupt the service.

Con: Some may find it impersonal and detached from the grieving process.

In Summary

Regardless of the chosen style, funeral planning is a collective decision that requires consideration and empathy. Whether a traditional funeral, a memorial service, a direct cremation, a celebration of life, or even a virtual event, a clear understanding of these options will make this journey more navigable.

As Fraser suggests in her book, planning ahead, despite being an emotionally challenging process for some, can be a profoundly meaningful and essential part of honoring life.

This preparation can also greatly assist everyone involved during their time of loss.